


Safe And Sound

by Leonidas1754



Series: The Safe-End Project [1]
Category: 999: Nine Hours Nine Persons Nine Doors - Fandom, Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: 999 Spoilers, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Don't read if you haven't finished the series, I do it a lot trust me, M/M, Mood Whiplash, Mourning and Recovery, Panic Attacks, Post-Safe End, Series Rewrite, Slow Burn, There's just spoilers everywhere okay, Virtue's Last Reward Spoilers, zero time dilemma spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2018-11-30 09:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 37,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11460756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leonidas1754/pseuds/Leonidas1754
Summary: (Post-Safe End timeline)In this timeline, they don't save her.It's not fair. This timeline has to exist to save her, but she isn't alive, and Aoi has to struggle to live again. Through the year before the Decision Game, Aoi and Junpei live in a broken timeline with  broken hearts and lives, trying to put themselves- and each other- back together.





	1. Found and Lost

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to say this upfront- There's going to be an OC in this. He is an author insert because I needed a character to bounce Aoi and Junpei off of in a way that I can't accomplish with Seven, Lotus, or Lotus's kids (due to their history). He'll play a bigger role in the VLR rewrite because someone has to take Clover's place. If you don't like that this story contains an OC, just leave now, please. This story is just something that got away from me and ended up far longer than anticipated, and it's mostly for me. I'm perfectly open to constructive criticism, but I leave that mostly to my Beta reader, who has already helped me shape this story into something far better than it originally was.  
> If you're not the type to immediately leave as soon as you see a non-canon character, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy! And here's to hoping my OC actually works satisfactorily in this story, hahaha.

“So, she’s really gone, isn’t she?”

Aoi supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised. He knew Junpei was looking for him for the past four months. He’d already found Lotus and Seven, and Aoi knew he’d been looking into the first Nonary Game, nine years prior to the one he and Akane had orchestrated. Junpei may have been searching for Akane, but Aoi had been keeping an eye on him too. It sounded as though he found out what happened in that first game, found out who Santa really was.

He wanted answers. He deserved answers. Santa wasn’t really sure he could get his voice to work, though.

He’d confronted Aoi in a bar, where Aoi was sitting on one of the stools nursing a beer he’d only taken a few sips of yet. After Aoi failed to respond, Junpei sat beside him and ordered a scotch. They sat like that for some time, sipping at their respective drinks. Aoi remembered hearing how Junpei had started drinking heavily. Aoi wondered how bad it was. He didn’t drink too often himself, he still needed to run Crash Keys after all, but he still liked the way it made him feel numb.

Four months wasn’t enough time. Junpei was faster than he thought. Then again, he hadn’t exactly tried to hide. He knew what Junpei was looking into and he didn’t bother to even try to stop him.

Eventually, he found his voice. “So,” he spoke, barely above the music and people talking, “What do you know?”

Aoi could see Junpei watching him out of the corner of his eye. “... I know your name is Aoi Kurashiki. You’re Akane’s older brother. You and her were both part of another Nonary Game nine years before the one that just happened. I know that one was run by Ace’s company. I… I know she died then. In an incinerator.”

Aoi shuddered. He appreciated that Junpei at least tried to frame it delicately, but there was no real easy way to put it. “Yea… She’s gone.”

“She died then, but she was there for that game. How?” Junpei turned to him, expression neutral. He was doing his best to be patient, obviously realizing what this meant to Aoi as well.

Aoi took a deep breath. “Do you know what Schrodinger’s Cat is?”

“Yea, roughly. The cat in the box is both dead and alive until you open it. Why?”

“Akane… Akane was the cat. For nine years, she was both dead and alive, until the Nonary Game. That’s when the box opened, so to speak. The doors we went through, what we did… Basically, there’s multiple timelines. We’re one of the timelines that failed.” He’d avoided saying it out loud for so long. Doing so felt so… Final. As if saying it was well and truly over because he’d said it out loud.

“... I was the one that chose, at the end of it. I was the one that chose what doors we went through.” Aoi could hear the guilt seep into his voice, but what could he say?

Ultimately, Junpei was right. Because he chose what he did, they failed, and she was gone. Still, Aoi couldn’t let him put it all on his shoulders. “Forget it. From what Akane told me, this was inevitable. Remember how you worked out who Ace was, and the code for the coffin?”

Junpei nodded. “Yea, I guess. So what?”

“Apparently, you needed that in another timeline, the one where you actually save her, where you choose right. So basically, in order to succeed, we had to fail.” As he said it, he started laughing. It sounded so stupid, and it really was, to Aoi. Why did they have to be the ones to fail? Why did one timeline have to fail at all in order for another to succeed? “Dude, just… fuck our other selves.”

Junpei watched him, calm and quiet. “... You know you sound crazy, right?”

Aoi snorted. “Believe me or not, that’s up to you. I’m just telling you what I know.”

“I know. And… I do believe you. Nothing else can explain this. So… The many worlds interpretation?”

“Yea. Though who knows, maybe she just said that to reassure me in case things went wrong.” Aoi shrugged. “Not like it makes things better here, even if it is true. There’s nothing we can do.”

Junpei downed the rest of his scotch, wincing as he slammed the cup down. “And I thought I had reason to get drunk before.”

Aoi snorted. “No shit. I still can’t believe you quit college and everything.”

“So you knew, huh?” Junpei edged his stool a little closer. “Then again, you didn’t seem surprised that I showed up here. You’ve been keeping an eye on me, haven’t you?”

“Yea. I could have stopped you, you know. Cut off any knowledge of the first Nonary Game, of who I was.”

“Why didn’t you?” Junpei waved the bartender over for another scotch.

Santa took one last long drink of his beer. He knew he probably shouldn’t keep drinking, but… “Guess I didn’t feel like it mattered. I wasn’t ready to talk, but… I guess I wanted to be able to. Sometime. Are you going to get drunk?”

Junpei shrugged. “Probably. It’s the only way I can get myself to sleep anymore. Why?”

“... Do you mind if I get drunk with you?”

Junpei seemed to consider him for a few moments, surprise and suspicion evident on his face. Then he nodded. “Go ahead, I won’t stop you. Can’t say I ever expected to be getting drunk off my ass with Zero of all people, though.”

“Not Zero. Just her assistant.” Aoi shrugged and ordered something a little stronger than beer this time.

“Right, sorry.” Junpei shrugged. “Point stands, though.”

“Yea.” Aoi lifted his drink as he took it from the bartender. “To our failure, then.”

Junpei snorted. “Cheers.”

* * *

 

Aoi wasn’t sure quite when he blacked out, or where he was, or how he got there. All he knew was that Junpei’s arms were wrapped around him, and for some reason, they had been sleeping in a bathtub.

He tried to roll over without waking the other up. The sunlight filtering through the window wasn’t too bad, thankfully, and didn’t aggravate the hangover he knew was coming. He could smell… Something, coming from outside the kitchen. Was someone cooking? It couldn’t be Junpei, he was here with Aoi. He prayed they hadn’t somehow broken into someone's house and fallen asleep in their bathtub.

He thumped Junpei’s shoulder. “Oi, dumbass, wake up. Where the hell are we?” He spoke softly, not wanting to make either of their hangovers worse.

Junpei groaned as he was forced away, one eye peeking open. “Fucking… We’re at my place, Santa…”

Aoi winced at the nickname, but continued on. “Alright, why the hell are we in the tub? And who’s in your house cooking?”

“I sleep here, alright, just works for me. You decided you didn’t want to sleep alone so you joined and I couldn’t get you out. And that’s probably Leone. He likes to make sure I’m not dead of alcohol poisoning in the morning. Also, apartment, not house. No way I could afford a house.”

Aoi untangled himself from Junpei’s arms and pulled himself out of the bathroom. It was then that he realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt, but he didn’t particularly care. He needed water and an aspirin, then he could get his shirt.

Instead, he found a redhead in the kitchen, bouncing to something probably playing in his headphones, cooking something on the stove. His long red ponytail waved with the beat, and as he turned, Aoi could see his glasses practically flash. “Ah!” He said softly, “You’re awake! Good to see. Hangover, I’m guessing? Asprin’s on the table, along with some water. Also, your shirt’s on the chair.” He smiled warmly as he pulled his headphones off and around his neck, soft tunes playing from them. “I have to admit, I was surprised to see someone other than Junpei in the bathtub this morning.”

Aoi shrugged. “You’re Leone, then?” He winced at his own voice. It was quiet, but still gravelly, and it sounded as rough as he felt. Still, he sat at the small table, taking the cup of water from it and downing a painkiller. Then he yanked his shirt on, wincing at the smell of booze. He must have spilled some on himself at some point.

“Mhm, that’s me. Are you a friend of Junpei’s too?” Leone waited for Aoi to nod before continuing. “Nice to meet you, then. We used to go to college together before he dropped out, and I mostly just make sure he’s not dead and make him something to eat. My stove’s been busted for a month, anyway.” He chuckled. “Allergic to anything?”

Aoi slowly shook his head. “What are you making?”

Leone turned back to the stove, bouncing a bit again. “Eggs, sunny-side up, with honey on toast. My favorite comfort food.”

“Huh. Alright then.” Aoi carefully turned to see Junpei trudge into the kitchen, looking half-dead himself.

He and Leone exchanged pleasantries in hushed tones. Aoi supposed he’d dealt with Junpei being hungover so many times it was simply habit by now, though he wasn’t complaining at all. They seemed to talk about almost meaningless things, and Aoi tuned them out in favor of picking at the food Leone put in front of him. Seemed it was exactly as he said it would be, nice and simple.

As time passed, though, Aoi felt more and more out of place. Leone and Junpei, they were obviously fairly good friends, and he was someone who’d put Junpei through a lot of pain for ultimately nothing, in this timeline at least.

He suddenly stood, placing the plate down. “I’m going to get going. Work and all that.”

Junpei seemed surprised, then pursed his lips. Aoi could hear him follow him to the door, though he didn’t look back, not until a hand was placed on his shoulder. He took a deep breath and turned. “Yea?”

Junpei frowned at him. “Hey. Don’t disappear on me again. And you should talk to Seven and Lotus. I think they’d appreciate knowing what happened too.”

“Yea.” He knew he should, but just thinking of it was hard. Then again, maybe now that he’d talked to Junpei, maybe it would be a little easier. “I’ll try.”

“Thanks. And… Feel free to come here, if you need to. Can’t guarantee I’ll be here, but I’ll show up eventually, and Leone’s a homebody, so you can probably ask him if you really need something.”

“Shouldn’t you ask him if that’s okay first?” Aoi asked, raising a brow. Trust Junpei to just volunteer his friend for something like that without asking him first.

Junpei shrugged. “I know him. He’d kick my ass if I didn’t let you know you could talk to him.”

“If you say so.” Aoi shrugged. “Good luck, with… Work. Don’t get yourself killed.”

Junpei snorted. “I’ll do my best.”

Aoi shook his head slowly, then turned, letting Junpei’s hand fall from his shoulder as he left. For the first time since before the second Nonary Game, he felt almost… Peaceful. It still hurt. His body and mind and soul ached, but not as much. Maybe he was going numb, or maybe talking with Junpei had helped him, at least somewhat.

For the first time in months, Aoi could think that maybe, just maybe, he’d be okay.

* * *

 

He was starting to suspect that giving Junpei his number might have been a mistake. It had only been a few weeks, but already he’d spammed Aoi with really absurd things, from pictures of cats to random videos to what basically amounted to night blogging, but as a text, and it was near constant if he wasn’t supposedly asleep or working. He’d passed on Leone’s number too, though they didn’t talk as much. 

Most times, Aoi didn’t respond, just letting Junpei send him whatever. In a strange way, he didn’t feel so alone. Sometimes he’d simply scroll back through the texts, reading whatever nonsense Junpei had deemed fit to send him. That was what he was doing as he directed the taxi driver to Lotus’s house. He figured he’d talk to her first, as she deserved answers almost more than Junpei had, with being sucked into the game her daughters had been in. He closed his phone as they arrived and paid the driver before walking up. It had taken a few minutes of him just standing there, trying his best to work up his nerves and quell the utter queasiness in stomach. Eventually, he knocked on the door.

To Lotus’s credit, he probably deserved the slap she gave him the moment she opened the door and saw him. She was also very patient with him after that, listening as he slowly explained what had happened and why.

Lotus sighed softly, taking a long sip of her tea. “Thank you for telling me. And for approaching me yourself, instead of having one of the others do it. Do you think you’ll be alright..?”

Aoi was surprised at the sheer concern on her face. He attributed it to her being a mother. Even with those who had wronged you, who had put you through so much… He pressed his palms to his eyes, fighting the burning in the corners of them. “I’ll be fine.” It felt like he could choke on the words.

Lotus stood and moved around the table, gently rubbing his back. “June… Akane, I got a letter from her after the game. It said to give it to you if she didn’t survive, and you came to talk to me.”

Aoi looked up in surprise. He knew she could use her access to the Morphogenetic Field to see parts of the future, but to anticipate this… It felt like someone was twisting a hot knife in his gut. “What is it?”

“It’s a video, I think. Do you want to watch it here, or do you just want to take it with you?” Lotus’s voice was gentle, soothing. “I can still leave the room if you want to watch it alone.”

“I’ll watch it later,” he answered, taking a deep breath. “But thanks.”

Lotus nodded and moved around to sit across from him again. “How is Junpei doing? We don’t talk all that often. Seems he doesn’t have much of a social life anymore.”

“He’s… an alcoholic, as far as I can tell. Apparently sleeps in his bathtub most days, though there’s a friend that helps him. Or at least, makes breakfast for him and makes sure he’s not dead.”

“That’s good. I’m glad he has a friend looking out for him. I’m worried about him, due to his work, but… There’s not much I could say to convince him to quit. And I suppose once you get into that sort of work, it’s hard to get out.”

Aoi slowly nodded. “I’ve… I’ve thought about trying to convince him to join me,” he says, “in the organization Akane and I started. I’m not even sure what we’re going to keep with, at the moment we’re just… waiting. Gathering intelligence, stopping more minor things. It was all built around the Nonary Game, so I’m not even sure what to do now. There wasn’t a plan for if we failed. Hell, there wasn’t even a plan for if we  _ succeeded _ . But it’d probably be better for him, having a more powerful ally in case things went wrong.”

Lotus nodded slowly as he spoke. “You should talk to him about it, then. Have you spoken to Seven yet?”

“No, not yet. Might invite him too, I dunno. I’ve just kind of been… going, you know? It’s like I’m walking, but I’m not going anywhere specific.”

“I understand. Well… I hope you can figure things out for yourself. Maybe whatever Akane left will help you. And I can talk to Seven for you, if you want. I see him a lot nowadays.” Lotus gave him a small smile.

Aoi found himself nodding. “Yea, if I don’t do it first… Please.”

Lotus chuckled. “I will. And I wanted to say thank you for Cradle Pharmaceuticals. From what I hear from Seven, seems there was a relatively quiet coup there, I wouldn't have known if Seven hadn’t told me.”

Aoi smirked, feeling a glow of satisfaction. “Yea, it’s… pretty much entirely under my control, now. I wanted to keep it quiet, not cause a lot of chaos. People ask too many questions when things are loud.”

Lotus chuckled. “Well, it’s certainly satisfying to know. Thank you, for all that.”

“No problem. Wish I could say I did it for you, but… It was just selfish, really.”

Lotus shrugs a little. “Even if it was selfish, I appreciate it. I hope you do some real good with it.”

Aoi nodded. “Me too. What would you suggest? I don’t know a ton about medicine.”

“Maybe create an area focused on research and countering new diseases? I’m not entirely sure, really.”

Aoi nodded. “It’s an idea. And… Thanks again, Lotus. Are you sure you’re alright with me calling you that?”

Lotus nodded. “Of course. I wouldn’t let you call me it if it wasn’t. Getting ready to go?”

“Yea. I’m a little busy, unfortunately.”

Lotus slid an envelope across the table. “Here, then. I hope whatever Akane had to tell you… It will help.”

Aoi hesitated, fingers shaking as he reached for the envelope. “... Yea, me too.” He took it carefully, slipping it into his bag.

Goodbyes were quick, Aoi suddenly feeling like he was suffocating around Lotus. He could feel the receding heat, the steel walls closing around him. He didn’t want to close his eyes because he knew what he would see, and he frantically dug his earbuds out of his pockets. He stuffed them in his ears and turned on his music, louder and louder until he could nearly drown out her screams. He hated it, he hated it so much, he felt like he was going to scream himself just to drown everything out. He could see the flames, despite walking down the street, tears beginning to blur his vision. It was getting harder to breathe, choking on ash and dust and soot. He couldn’t go back to Lotus, she meant well but she would just smother him, and she didn’t understand, she didn’t-

He yanked his earbuds out, flinching at the pain. He could hear her screams perfectly now, but he needed- 

Aoi nearly dropped his phone trying to dial, but he managed to press it hard to his ear. The relief when Junpei picked up was far more intense than he thought it would be. “Junpei-” He manages out, and he knew he sounded like an utter wreck but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Aoi?” Junpei’s voice was instantly concerned. “Dude, are you alright? What’s going on?”

Aoi took a deep breath, or at least, he tried to. “V-V-Visited Lotus… A-Akane…” He couldn’t breathe, it felt like he was in the incinerator with her, he was outside in the open but those metal walls were closing in on him and Seven wasn’t there to save them now, everything hurt, he was so hot. 

He could barely register Junpei’s voice, trying to reach him through the flames and screams. “-you, Aoi, are you still at Lotus’s place?”

Aoi shook his head at first, before realizing Junpei couldn’t see. “N-No, down the- down the street…”

“I’m coming to get you, just stay there and do your best to take deep breaths, okay?”

“Please d-don’t hang up.” Aoi did his best to concentrate on Junpei’s voice. He slumped down against one of the trees by the road, unable to stand anymore. “Keep talking t-to me…”

“I will, I’m right here, Aoi, I’ll be there soon.”

Aoi wasn’t sure how long it was until Junpei’s car pulled up. He just listened to Junpei’s voice, not even hearing the words. He wasn’t there in the incinerator, it was all over, it had been over years ago, he wasn’t there, he was sitting under a tree and Junpei was looking at him, shaking his shoulder, trying to get him to respond, wait, what was he saying?

He reached up with trembling fingers and touched Junpei’s cheek. He was real, he was there. They were alive, things would be alright.

“Aoi..?” Junpei’s voice finally reached through to him, filled with worry and fear. “Hey, come on, speak to me, you can hear me right?” Junpei reached up and took Aoi’s hand from his cheek, squeezing it.

Aoi swallowed and hung up his phone, shoving it in his pocket. “S-Sorry. I’m fine.”

Junpei snorted. “No you’re not. Come on, you wanna go to wherever you stay, or are we going back to my place?”

“Don’t care. Can we get ice cream?” Aoi could still feel the flames licking at his edges. “I need something cold.”

Junpei nodded, leaning in and pulling him up. Aoi leaned heavily on him as he was guided to the passenger seat. “I think there’s a place near here.”

They were quiet for some time as Junpei drove. Aoi felt so drained, even turning his head felt like a massive effort. He could see Junpei glancing at him every so often out of the corner of his eye. “... You remember what the experiment was about, right?”

Junpei nodded. “Yea. Are you sure you want to talk about that right now, though?”

“Yea. Just… to explain what’s going on. Akane was a transmitter, and I’m a receiver… I wanted to know what she went through. She tried to convince me not to, but I kept insisting… She showed me what happened to her, how she burned to death. And sometimes… Sometimes it gets to me.”

Junpei was quiet for a few moments. There really wasn’t anything to say, not to that. “... What kind of ice cream do you want? I’m just going to run into the grocery store and get a few tubs.”

Aoi felt a soft laugh bubble from his chest. “Anything but mint. That shit hurts my teeth.”

“Alright. You gonna be okay on your own for a few minutes?”

Aoi wanted to say that he wasn’t a kid, but really, the concern just made him feel warm. “Yea, I’ll be fine. Thanks for this. I… Didn’t expect you to come get me like that.”

“Well like fuck I was leaving you wherever you were while you were having a panic attack. I’ve been there, done that, it’s… No one should go through that alone, especially not with the shit that you’ve been through.” Junpei parked in the lot, leaving the car running. “I shouldn’t be more than five minutes, they’re usually not busy this time of day.”

“Thanks.” Aoi smiled softly, leaning the seat back to curl up on his side.

Junpei was quiet, watching him for a few moments. “... Aoi… Are you really going to be alright?”

Aoi snorted. “I have no idea. I’m trying, though.”

Junpei smiled, a bit tired and a lot sad. “Yea, guess that’s as best we can do right now.”

Aoi smiled softly as Junpei left and dozed. He’d never really understood why Akane liked him so much, really, but he thought he was starting to. At the very least, Junpei cared a lot about others. Really, Aoi felt he didn't’ deserve it, after all he’d put the guy through in the name of trying to save his sister, but it seemed Junpei didn’t hold it against him.

The sunlight was warm through the windshield, and the rumble of the running car lulled him into near-sleep. Soon enough, he could hear the door open and be closed as quietly as possible, the rustling of plastic bags and soon the car was moving. Gentle fingers brushed through his hair for a moment.

“I think I get it…” Aoi said softly.

“Yea?” Junpei’s voice was soft, as if afraid to disturb the strange peace that had settled around Aoi. “Get what?”

“Why she liked you so much. I always thought you were just a doofus. But… You’re a nice doofus.” Aoi peeked one eye open with a grin.

Junpei snorted, rolling his eyes. “Gee, thanks.”

Still, Aoi just watched him as they drove, letting himself doze. He was so tired…

Junpei sighed softly as he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building, looking over to find Aoi was asleep. He looked so small, so fragile, sleeping in Junpei’s passenger seat. Akane’s disappearance had been hard on Junpei, but he realized it was probably nothing compared to Aoi. He couldn’t imagine spending nine years of his life, most of which as a kid and teen, planning out this game for the chance to save Akane, only to fail, and to know that failure needed to exist for them to succeed in another timeline. It made his head hurt just to think about, but even moreso, his heart hurt. 

Quietly, he got out of the car and moved around to the other side. He unbuckled Aoi and carefully picked him up. He was so much lighter than Junpei had anticipated, and up close, he could see just how slender and gaunt Aoi really was. Junpei doubted he’d been eating well, probably since the Nonary Game. He carried Aoi up the stairs, shifting the bag to his other hand so he could do his best to support Aoi’s legs with his arm while he unlocked the door. He placed Aoi on the couch and draped a light blanket over him before putting the ice cream in the freezer. No way he was eating that all by himself. For a few moments, he lingered in his kitchen, watching the rise and fall of Aoi’s chest as he slept. He looked… not peaceful, exactly, but like he was finally resting. It was only seeing him like this that Junpei realized how high strung Aoi was normally. He wasn’t exactly surprised he’d never noticed before- he’d never seen Aoi any other way, except drunk.

It didn’t matter right now, though. He grabbed his laptop out of his room and started browsing movies, cumulating a list for them to binge on. Then he called his boss, letting him know he wouldn’t be in tomorrow. Not for his hangover, or a mistake, but to take care of someone else. He probably wasn’t in any shape to do so, himself, but he wanted to. Junpei had Leone, but something told him Aoi didn’t have anyone. Not anyone close, at least.

It reminded him of Akane, that day. Holding her in his arms, so weak and fragile… And then she was gone. For a moment, his imagination ran away with him, and Aoi flickered out of existence on his couch. Panic seized in his heart, and he shook his head, ridding himself of the thoughts. It was Akane that was gone, not Aoi. Aoi was here, alive. Fragile and weak and hurting, but alive all the same, and Junpei wanted to keep him that way.

Junpei was checking his email when Aoi finally stirred behind him. “Mm..? Oh, hey Junpei…” Aoi slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Sorry, didn’t mean to fall asleep. Guess it took more out of me than I thought.”

Junpei shrugged. “It’s alright. The ice cream is in the freezer, and I looked up a bunch of movies. You got any preferences?”

“I’ll look in a second.” Aoi wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. He looked around, a soft yawn leaving his lips. “You carried me up here?”

“Yea. Don’t sound so surprised,” Junpei said with a light smirk. “I have to stay in at least somewhat good shape for my job, and you’re pretty skinny.” His smirk faded after a moment, however. “You’re really, really skinny, Aoi. Have you been eating alright?”

Aoi sighed. “Should’ve known you’d ask. I’m… not really. I haven’t eaten well since the game.”

“Lucky for you, I know how to get people who have trouble eating to do so. Leone’s always had that issue.” 

Aoi felt a stir in his gut. “Yea? You… Care about him a lot, huh?”

Junpei looked at him strangely. “Well… Yea, he’s my friend.”

“Just a friend?”

“Yea, he’s not- Why does it matter? Are you worried he’s gonna not like you being here or something?”

“No, I mean… He definitely didn’t have a problem when he found us in the bathtub.” Aoi pulled the blanket tighter around him, looking away.

Junpei was quiet, watching him for a short time, before putting his laptop on the couch. “Here, look through the list, I’ll order some pizza. What do you like on yours?” He hauled himself to his feet and stretched before grabbing his phone.

“Just cheese is fine.” Aoi leaned back on the couch and watched as he walked over to the wall and slammed his fist on it. After a few hits, there was a loud “WHAT” on the other side of the wall. Aoi hadn’t heard it enough to recognize Leone’s voice, but really, who else could it be?

“I’m ordering pizza, you want any!?” Junpei shouted back.

“JUST GET MY USUAL!”

“Alright!” Junpei dialed his phone and leaned against the wall. “... What?” he asked when he saw Aoi looking at him strangely.

“Do you two always do that?” Aoi asked, a small smile splitting across his face.

Junpei chuckled. “Yea, I mean, if I get pizza, I ask him if he wants any, since yea, he probably hasn’t eaten yet.” He held up a hand for a moment, placing the order for their pizza, before hanging up. “But yea, we’re  _ just _ friends. If anything, I’ve ended up more like a brother to him. And even if I wasn’t, apparently I’m not his type. Doesn’t matter anyways.”

“I guess.” Aoi shrugged and tapped a few buttons on the computer, pulling up one of the movies, he didn’t even pay attention to what. 

Junpei raised a brow. “You’re acting really weird about Leone. … Are you interested in him? Is that why you’re so worried about us potentially dating? Because I could totally help set you up if that’s the case.”

“What?! No!” Aoi shook his head violently. “Absolutely not, that’s not it at all.”

Junpei laughed and dropped onto the couch. “If you say so. Let me know if you change your mind, though.”

“I won’t, trust me.”

Aoi grumbled a bit as Junpei hooked his laptop up to his TV, turning on the movie Aoi chose. They settled on the couch together, quiet as it started. Aoi couldn’t focus much on the movie, however. Instead, he was trying to figure out that warm feeling in his gut, the stirring when he thought about how close Leone and Junpei were. Junpei was being so kind to him as well, coming to get him when he had a panic attack, letting him stay over, getting ice cream…

When the doorbell rang, Aoi lept to his feet. “I’ll get it. Only fair since you bought the ice cream.”

Junpei nodded. “Alright. Thanks.”

Aoi went to the door, opening it and paying for the three pizzas before stepping out and knocking on the door to Leone’s apartment. After a few moments, Leone opened the door, smiling, though he looked surprised to see Aoi. “Oh, hey Aoi! What’s up?”

Aoi shrugged a little. “I’ve got your pizza. Not sure which one’s yours.”

“Aw, thanks bud.” He opened the top box, then lifted it to check the middle before taking it and replacing the top one. “There we go. You feeling alright? You look kind of… Off, I guess.”

“That noticable, huh?” Aoi sighed. “I dunno. I mean, I had a panic attack earlier, but… There’s some stuff on my mind.”

Leone nodded with a sympathetic look. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

This probably wasn’t a good idea. Aoi doubted Leone would even begin to understand what happened, but… He needed to talk to someone about it and shoveling it on Junpei right now felt unfair. “I can’t explain a lot of it, but… Basically… M-My sister is gone.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “She liked Junpei a lot, and I put him through hell trying to save her. And we failed.”

Leone nodded. “Alright… I don’t really like hearing that you hurt him, but if it was just to save your sister, I guess I can refrain from kicking your ass,” he said with a chuckle.

Aoi winced. “Yea, but… Like I said, we failed. And he found me afterwards. And now…”

Leone pursed his lips. “You’re starting to fall for him.”

“What?! No way! No, that’s not-”

Leone practically giggled. “Sorry, had to do it. You’re kind of adorable when you get worked up. But for real, he’s a good guy. And I think he cares a lot about you. I mean, the only other people he tends to have over are Seven and me, so the fact that he’s doing this for you means a lot, since it’s only really been… What, a month? My perception of time is shit but I think that’s right.” He waved his hand. “The better statement is probably that you’re starting to understand why your sister liked him so much.”

“... Yea, I guess so. I want to hate him. I mean, he made the final decisions that led us here, but…”

“I’m sorry, Aoi. I really don’t know what to say for that. Ideally, things would have gone right.You would have saved her, and everything would be fine. But she’s gone, and there’s nothing you can do about that.” He leaned back to place the pizza off to the side and then reached forward, placing his hands on Aoi’s shoulders. “Don’t let the past hold you back from gaining your own happiness. Sometimes, you have to fight with all you have for every scrap of happiness you can get, and to hold onto it.”

Aoi shrugged. “I guess… But what if he hates me for it?”

Leone snorted. “Please. This is Junpei we’re talking about. And even if he did get pissy with you or something, I’d kick his ass.”

Aoi couldn’t help but chuckle. “Isn’t he your friend?”

“Yea, but everyone needs their ass kicked sometimes. Plus I’ve been looking for a reason to knock his head in. Now, go eat your pizza,” he said, squeezing Aoi’s shoulders for a moment before pushing him back towards Junpei’s apartment.

Aoi laughed softly. “Alright, alright, I’m going.” He had a soft smile as he opened the door again. “Hey, sorry that took so long, Leone and I were talking about… A thing.”

Junpei raised a brow. “Hope it was good. You look more relaxed.”

Aoi nodded as he sat, passing the other pizza to Junpei before taking out a slice of his cheese pizza. “Yea, he’s…. I like him, he’s good. He might not know what’s going on, but he tries. And his advice is good, I think.”

“Eh, even when it isn’t, I can’t help but feel better because he’s so supportive.” Junpei chuckled, taking out a piece of his own pizza. “So what did he have to say?”

Aoi bit his lip, wondering how much he should say. “He told me… To fight for my happiness.”

Junpei raised a brow. It was obvious he was being vague, but he didn’t press. Aoi would tell him as much as he wanted to tell, it wasn’t really any of his business what Aoi and Leone talked about. “Alright. Told you you could talk to him.”

Aoi nodded. “Yea. Did you ever tell him what happened, though?”

Junpei grit his teeth. “Not really. I told him some stuff, but he doesn’t have a clue what happened other than that I was kidnapped and made to play some twisted game.”

Aoi shook his head. “And now he knows I did it to save my sister. Do you think we should tell him the whole story?”

Junpei considered it for a moment before pressing play. “Nah. Probably just break his brain anyways.”

They settled into quiet again as the movie played. Aoi certainly felt more relaxed. Really, Leone had given him more questions, about his feelings for Junpei and what to do about them, but it was a direction. Something to figure out, something to work towards.

Leone was right. He was done being sad, being miserable. He’d never truly be over his sister’s death, it would always weight on him, but he could live with it. He could fight for his happiness.

Junpei watched the smile settle on Aoi’s lips out of the corner of his eye and sighed quietly in relief. He’d need to thank Leone later, because whatever he’d said to Aoi, it had worked.


	2. Message and Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoi watches his sister's video, talks to Seven, and visits Junpei, trying to sort out what to do with himself now that it's all over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of this chapter was pretty fun to write, like this first scene with the video which has been bouncing around in my head since I first thought of this project. Others were surprisingly difficult. As always, thanks to my beta reader, NorthernFlicker, you should absolutely go check out her fics if you haven't already.

Aoi had been sitting in the same spot, staring at the screen for the past ten minutes, at least. The DVD was in his computer, loaded up, but he couldn’t bring himself to press play. Every time he tried, his fingers shook too hard and he could barely hold his mouse. He needed to watch it, he needed to know what Akane had left for him, but he was afraid. 

He shook his head, taking a deep breath. “You can do this. Akane’s your sister, and if she left you this, it must be pretty important. All you have to do is press play.” It took a few more minutes of psyching himself up before he was able to actually do it, wrapping his arms tightly around himself.

The screen flickered for a moment before it lit up, showing Akane sitting at the very desk he was at now. She seemed to double check the video was recording before smiling.  _ “Hey, Aoi… If you’re seeing this, I suppose it means I didn’t make it. We… Or rather, you, are in the timeline that failed.” _

Aoi’s heart felt like it was hammering in his throat, and he was sick to his stomach. There she was, just as beautiful as the day she died, as the day she disappeared for good.

Akane settled back in her seat, rubbing her wrist where the bracelet would soon be.  _ “First things first, please, don’t blame yourself. As I told you, there is a path, a timeline that has to exist in order to be able to save me in another timeline. It’s unfortunate, and I wish it wasn’t so, but… It’s all over now, and there’s nothing you can do.” She sat up, looking more serious. “Aoi… I understand this won’t be easy. And you’ll never truly stop mourning me. You threw away nine years of your life to try to save me. Well, I suppose ‘threw away’ isn’t right, but you gave it up for me. And in this timeline, you get nothing for it.” _

Akane took a deep breath and held up a familiar bookmark. It was the four-leaf clover, the one they’d put behind door 4.  _ “You always hated this, after what happened. Light gave us all a four-leaf clover, he explained to us the leaf words, he assured us that as long as we believed in them, we would be fine. But then… I wasn’t. And now you hate those words. I can’t say I blame you, but… Aoi, I want you to be happy. So please, promise me something?” _ She took the bookmark and held it close to her heart, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.  _ “Faith, Hope, Love, and Luck… I want you to learn to like those words again. If not for yourself, than for me and my peace of mind.” _

Aoi didn’t realize he was crying until Akane started to as well, though she continued to smile.  _ “After all we’ve been through, you absolutely deserve to be happy. You don’t have to keep running Crash Keys, if you don’t want to. You could go to college, or start some other career. You’ve always been a lovely singer, perhaps you could do that.” _ She reached up to wipe her eyes, and Aoi took the chance to do the same.  _ “I love you, Aoi. You’re the best big brother I ever could have asked for. Thank you for everything, I really mean it.” _

Aoi slumped back in his chair as the video stopped, leaving the screen blank. He didn’t wipe any more at his tears, just letting them fall. Everything hurt, despite her reassurances. He doubted it would ever stop. He tried to hold onto that feeling Leone had helped him find, but it was gone in a sea of regret and misery.

“I miss you so much.”

The words seemed to echo off the empty room, sounding hollow in his own ears. She wanted him to be happy, but how could he be? The most important person in his world was gone because he and Junpei had failed. Aoi wanted to hate him. He had, at first, when it was all over and he wanted someone to blame, someone other than himself. But Akane had told him time and time again, it needed to happen.

“Life is fucking unfair,” he grumbled to himself in the empty room. No one responded.

* * *

 

Talking with Seven was awkward to say the least. At the very least, Lotus had explained things to Seven, but it left them without much to talk about. Instead, they just sat quietly in the coffee shop, sipping at their drinks. It was a quiet place, thankfully, nearly empty except for Seven and Aoi and of course, the employees. 

Aoi glanced around, while they were quiet. It was a nice, little contemporary place. The walls were a soft, pleasant yellow and some cheery pop song played through the quiet speakers. Aoi could recognize some sort of art deco pieces on the wall, supposedly done by local artists, and the entire cafe smelled of freshly baked cookies. Aoi was tempted to go back up and buy one just to placate his stomach and curiosity, but getting up somehow felt even more awkward than sitting there in silence.

Eventually, though, Seven spoke up. “Are you doing alright?”

“I mean… My sister’s dead and I spent nine years of my life trying to save her, and longer raising her by myself. That’s kind of a loaded question.” Aoi shrugged one shoulder, glancing away.

“Yea. I just know, my line of work… I’ve seen a lot of grieving people. No circumstances like yours, but still, at the end of it… You lost your sister, and you’re mourning her. The five stages of grief don’t change.”

Aoi took a deep, shuddering breath. “You know, sometimes I can almost feel like I’ll be okay. Like everything can be alright. And then it’ll come crashing in and I can barely breathe.”

Seven nodded. “That’s the way it is. It’s normal to have those ups and downs. You just gotta… Learn to be okay, I guess. I dunno, I’m not so good with the words in all this. I’d suggest going to a therapist, but… They’d sooner put you in the madhouse, I think.”

Aoi snorted. “Yea, pretty much. So I’m fucked either way.”

“I dunno, I mean, you seem to be doing alright. Not great, but… You’re put together? Or you’re good at faking it.”

“Maybe. I honestly don’t know myself. Maybe I really am getting better at handling it. Or maybe I’ve just gotten good enough at bottling it up and pretending that I can fool myself too.” Aoi placed his chin in his hand. “I’m a mess either way. Same with Junpei. At least he’s got that friend of his.”

Seven grimaced, to Aoi’s surprise. “Right, that Leone kid… Honestly, I dunno about him. He seems a little… unstable, to me.”

“Really? I thought he was alright. A little happy-go-lucky and cheery, but I mean, I just chalked it up to him putting on a front to be supportive and shit.”

“Well, you’re probably right in that. But how much time have you spent with the guy?”

“Er… Not that much I guess, we’ve only really talked twice, and texted some.” Aoi rubbed his neck. He didn’t claim to know the guy well or anything, he just was kind of friends with him? Not even that, really. They just shared a mutual sort of friend. Aoi couldn’t even say for sure that he was friends with Junpei, really.

Seven nodded. “Yea, it’s not real obvious at first unless you catch him at a bad time. Let’s just say he can flip switches really quick. One time I was talking to him, and he seemed perfectly fine, and then I said something and he got super pissed. Not at me, I guess, and I don’t even know what I said, but he just went off on a rant. Kid’s a minefield.”

“I’ll… Keep it in mind.” Aoi wondered if it was as bad as Seven said. Leone and Junpei were friends, so it couldn’t be that bad, right? “Thanks for the warning.”

“Yea, no problem. Don’t get me wrong, I like the kid, and I appreciate what he does for Junpei, I’m just worried it’s not great for either of them.”

“Right…” He wasn’t sure they could do anything about it. Aoi didn’t know about Leone, but Junpei was stubborn, and once he set his mind on something, there was almost no talking him down. “Well, maybe it’ll end up doing good for both of them.”

Seven nods. “Yea, I hope so. As for you… Lotus mentioned she gave you some sort of video from June? I mean, Akane.”

Aoi’s hands tightened around his drink. “Yea. It was… Yea.”

“You watch it yet?” Seven’s voice was cautious, obviously wanting to treat this carefully. 

Aoi nodded. “It was just… there wasn’t a ton to it. She wants me to be happy.” He really didn’t want to talk about it beyond that, it felt almost invasive, in a way, so he quickly switched gears. “I’m thinking of starting to sing, like, as a career.”

“Oh? Never heard you, but I wouldn’t doubt you’re good. I could suggest a few places you could try going to, they’re looking for new performers and stuff.” Seven smiled, reaching across the table to pat his shoulder.

Aoi smiled slightly. “Thanks. That’d be nice. Who knows, maybe eventually, you’ll come see me up on some big stage.”

“I’d come to every performance I could, promise you that.” Seven laughed, booming and a bit too loud in the coffeeshop, but there was no one around aside from the employees and it was a welcome sound, vibrating in Aoi’s chest.

“That’d be nice. You like music?”

“No more than the average person, really. But I support you. You did what you had to do, and there’s always people out there who will do worse for less. That, and you did pay off all the college debt for Lotus’s kids.”

Aoi froze. “What? N-No I didn’t, no idea what you’re talking about.”

Seven laughed again. “Please, I traced it back to you. You don’t gotta hide it from me, I won’t tell Lotus if it matters that much.”

Aoi rubbed his neck, looking sheepish. “Alright, alright. I just figured… It’s the least I could do, for putting her through that.”

“It means a lot, in this day and age.” Seven reached across the small table, squeezing his shoulder. “You’re a good kid, Aoi. Bad things happen to good people, life is a bitch like that. But you can still come out on top. I mean hey, look at me, look at Lotus and her kids. We’ll survive, and so will you.”

Aoi nodded. “But… I don’t want to just survive. I want to live.”

“You want my advice, then?”

“Sure. I could use all I can get.”

“You gotta have a goal, and commit to it. Something to live for, you know? Me, I wanna help as many people as possible. Settle their minds on unsolved mysteries.” Seven leaned back in his chair. “Most don’t like the answers they find, but it helps them find peace of mind rather than wondering their whole lives. For a long time, I know you lived for your sister. But you gotta find another reason now.”

Aoi nodded. “Yea… Guess I’ll have to sort that out. Just one foot in front of the other, for now.”

Seven nods. “Right. And you’re not alone. Junpei isn’t, Lotus isn’t, I’m not. Promise.”

Aoi smiled wider and chuckled. “Yea. Glad for that.”

* * *

 

Aoi took a deep breath, rocking on his heels before slumping back against the side of his car. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been to Junpei’s apartment before, he’d been there several times. But this was the first time he’d come here on his own.

For the first time, he was able to actually look around and take in the neighborhood. It… Wasn’t the best. It was far from the worst around, he could trust to find his car where he left it when he came back, but some of the buildings were run down to the point of broken windows, and the few small stores and restaurants that were around seemed on the verge of closing.

He pushed off his car finally and headed to the door, pushing inside. There didn’t seem to be anyone at the desk, and he hesitated for a moment before moving forward. This building was in seemingly good shape, at least, even if it was boring and stark in appearance.

Aoi flicked on the screen of his phone to double check the address, taking the elevator up to the proper floor. “Second from the last door on the right…” The last door was Leone’s apartment, if he remembered the layout properly. Odd to think how Junpei yelling at Leone through the wall could be useful information. It was probably good to know, in case he did need to talk to Leone. He’d rather not accidentally knock on the wrong door. This time, however, he was standing outside Junpei’s door, hands in his pockets. He always had a hard time with knocking on doors, it just felt weird after two Nonary Games. Thankfully, it wasn’t so bad as to trigger any sort of severe reaction, but being confronted with a locked door was always uncomfortable, to say the least. After a few moments of deep breathing, though, he knocked on the door, stepping back to wait. 

After a few minutes, Junpei opened the door with a raised brow. “Oh, hey. What’s up?”

Aoi shrugged a bit. “Sorry for the surprise visit. Just thought we could hang out or something.”

Junpei chuckled. “What would you have done if I wasn’t home?”

“I dunno. Go see a movie?” Aoi didn’t really plan things these days. He knew he probably should have at least called to see if Junpei was free, but it was a bit late for that now.

Junpei leaned against the doorway. “You alright?”

Aoi nodded. “Yea, I’m just… off today. Probably dissociation. Or at least, I think that’s what it is, from what I’ve read. It’s kind of hard to deal with these things when you can’t get professional help.”

“Yea. That’s why I self-medicate,” Junpei joked. “Come on, I just made myself some lunch. Hungry?”

Aoi followed Junpei as he turned around and went inside. “Not really, but I should probably eat.”

“When’s the last time you had like, an actual meal?”

Aoi knew it was bad that he had to stop and think about that. “That’s… a good question.”

Junpei just looked resigned. “Yea, for once I’m thankful Leone is the same way, because it’s easier to help once you already know how to deal with it. Come on, does anything sound appetizing to you?”

Aoi shook his head. “Not really.”

“Alright, here. It’s not much, but at least try to eat some of it, alright?” Junpei rummaged around in his fridge before pulling out an apple and setting it in front of Aoi.

Aoi rolled his eyes and picked it up. “Yes, mom,” he drawled, but he took a bite of the apple anyways. It tasted like sandpaper in his mouth, but it crunched nicely, so he just let himself enjoy the sound. Junpei was eating some sort of lunch meat sandwich himself, through Aoi couldn’t tell what kind. It all looked like gross pink mush to him anyways.

They stayed quiet for a little while, just the crunch of apple and soft noise of Junpei biting into his sandwich. It wasn’t uncomfortable either, it was almost nice. He ate about half of the apple before setting it aside and watching Junpei eat. 

Junpei eventually raised a brow at him. “Do I have something on my face?”

“Huh? No, just… Sorry. Didn’t mean to stare.”

Junpei seemed to consider him for a few moments before shaking his head. “Alright then. So I heard you went and talked to Seven. He seemed pretty happy about it.”

“Yea? Good, good. It was a little awkward, but… hell, he probably helped me more than I helped him. Though he did say something kind of weird…”

Junpei raised a brow. “Yea? Like what?”

Aoi tapped a finger to his lips. “About Leone. Basically said that he was emotionally volatile, or something like that.”

Junpei sighed. “Yea, well, he’s not kidding. Leone’s got two states, on and off. Either he’s like a stump, just sitting there doing his own thing, or he’s off on a rant. Passionate is… the nice way to put it, probably.”

“Oh? Man, I’m not sure if I want to see that or not…” Aoi picked up the apple and took another bite, wondering what Leone was really like when he blew up.

Junpei chuckled. “Well, you probably will at some point, if you keep hanging around.” Suddenly, there was a slamming door that made them both jump, and Junpei raised a brow. “Maybe sooner rather than later,” Junpei said before standing and taking his plate to the sink.

Aoi looked over his shoulder at the wall, Leone’s apartment on the other side. “Should we go see if he’s alright..?”

Junpei shook his head. “Nah, I mean, we’ll probably hear him either way. He’s loud when he’s pissed. I’m sure it’s fine, though. I just let him burn out and he’s chill afterwards.”

“If you say so… Doesn’t sound very healthy to me.”

“You wanna try to get him in an anger management class?”

“I mean… I guess I could try.” Aoi shrugged. “Doubt he’d listen to me, I mean, we’ve only really texted.”

Junpei opened his mouth to speak again, only to jump at a crash from the other apartment. He frowned and stood sharply, chair falling back on the floor. “Okay, that’s definitely not normal. Yelling, yes, crashing, that’s probably bad.” He swiftly walked to the door, pulling it open.

Aoi followed close behind. He didn’t know Leone very well, but he could probably say they were kind of friends. And even if they weren’t, he didn’t want to see the guy in trouble or anything. Junpei pounded on the door, yelling through it. “Hey, Leone, open up in there! Are you okay?”

There was silence from the other side. Jumpei and Aoi glanced at each other in worry, and Junpei raised his hand to knock again, but the door opened just as he did so, revealing Leone.

He was staring at the floor rather than looking at either of them. He was wearing jeans and a teeshirt, and his knuckles were bloody. “It’s fine, my punching bag broke. I’ve had it for a while, it was only a matter of time.” Aoi might not have been able to see his face, but his voice was thick with tears.

Junpei could hear it too, apparently. “Leone… What happened?”

It only took a moment for Leone to speak up. “I-I broke up with my boyfriend…”

Junpei pressed his lips together in a thin line. “Alright, come on. You’re always pestering me, time to do the same for you.”

“No, no, it’s fine, I’m fine…” Leone sniffed, but Junpei was already walking forward, nudging Leone back into the apartment. 

Aoi trudged behind, feeling a bit like an intruder as he looked around. He wasn’t really sure how to excuse himself, though, so he simply lingered, looking around the apartment. It wasn’t much different than Junpei’s, but was even more sparse and almost looked barely lived-in. Aoi wondered if he’d just cleaned, maybe, but that didn’t feel right. Even after Junpei cleaned, there were certain touches here and there, like how he had coasters on the right side of his coffee table that he never actually used, and how his bed was never made even though he didn’t sleep in it, and he just kept the plates on the counter because he was too short to reach the top shelf to put them away.

Aoi bit his lip, mentally shaking himself out of his thoughts. He probably shouldn’t be paying attention to things like that, and tried not to think about the why too much. Instead, he watched Leone curl up on the couch where Junpei had pushed him down, and Junpei draped a blanket around him. Aoi sat on the edge of the coffee table as Junpei sat by Leone.

“Alright,” Junpei said, finally speaking again, “What happened?”

Leone brought the blanket up to his nose, not doing much to hide his reddened eyes. His voice was very subdued when he spoke. “Fukase never really liked that you and I lived right by each other. He always was worried I was cheating on him, no matter how much I told him we weren’t like that.” Leone sniffed. “And I wouldn’t have sex with him. I-I-I’d had sex with people before, but… It’s different, in a relationship, I’d never been in a serious relationship before, it was just flings and friends before, but it’s different, you know? And he didn’t really like it but he let me be.”

Junpei reached over and rubbed his shoulder. “I always said you should ditch that guy, but you wouldn’t. So, what changed?”

Leone pulled his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. “I-I found out he’s been cheating on me, sleeping with some girl he met at the bar. He tried to blame it on me, saying he wouldn’t have had to if I’d just stop being so stupid, so I threw him out the window.”

Aoi glanced at the window of Leone’s apartment in mild alarm. They were pretty high up. A fall like that could easily kill someone, and while he absolutely agreed that the guy was a piece of shit for what he’d done, but he’d rather not see the guy arrested. 

Looking back, he could see Junpei’s expression mirroring his own worry. Leone apparently read their expressions easily, giving a small, hiccupy laugh. “It wasn’t here, it was at his place, and he lives on the first floor. He’s fine, just has some scratches from some bushes.”

Junpei sighed in relief. “Thank fuck. I’d rather not have to cover up a murder on short notice, thanks.”

“You’d seriously do that for me?”

“Duh. After all the shit I’ve put you through, I’d say it’s fair. Besides, if you go to jail, who’s going to lug me out of the tub every day? Aoi’s got enough to deal with himself, no way I could put that on him,” Junpei said, flashing a smile at Aoi.

Leone punched Junpei’s shoulder, smiling through his tears. “You asshole.”

Aoi shook his head. “Well… Hey, if he’s as bad as you say, you’ll probably be better off without him, right? Guys like that, they just want the power of having control over someone, so the best revenge you can get is letting him see you be happy without him and not giving two fucks about how he’s doing.”

“Y-Yea!” Leone grinned, sitting up straighter. “I mean, if he’s so much better off without me, then I’ll be even better off without him!”

Junpei shook his head. “Forget him. Are you going to be alright?”

Leone sighed, slumping back. “Not gonna lie, I just wanna bawl my eyes out and sleep for three years.”

Aoi and Junpei laughed. “So wait,” Aoi managed out as he caught his breath, “what was that crash we heard?”

Leone smiled a bit again. “I kind of wailed on my bag so hard it snapped off its chain and made a hole in the wall before knocking my nightstand over. Speaking of, there’s broken glass on my floor I’ll have to clean up before bed.”

“Is that why your hands were bleeding?”

“No, that’s what happens when I don’t bandage them before going at the bag, like an idiot.” Leone sighed. “I should do that, by the way.”

Junpei stood. “I’ll grab the bandages and clean up the glass. Cry if you want to, I mean, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to.”

Leone nodded. “Maybe… Thanks Tenny,” he said teasingly.

Junpei waved over his shoulder, walking into the other room. “Don’t worry about it, Game Boy,” jabbed right back.

Aoi raised a brow. “Tenny? Game Boy?”

Leone chuckled. “They’re just dumb nicknames we used to use. We used to take similar classes, but never really talked to each other. I was always playing my old GameBoy, and I knew his name was Ten-something, so I just called him Tenny. Then our friends discovered that they were friends and finally introduced us. It took a while for me to actually learn his name, though, I’m garbage with them. Either I learn them right away, or it takes me a year.”

Aoi snorted. “You’re weird.”

Leone seemed amused by that. “Yea, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that. Thanks for being here, though, and sorry it’s probably kind of awkward.”

Aoi shrugged. He wanted to admit he  _ did _ feel awkward, and he wasn’t sure what to do, but an idea occurred to him. “Hey, you like comfort food, right?”

Leone tilted his head. “Yea, I guess you could say that. I always had trouble with eating in general, though, it’s a mental illness thing, I think. Never had the money to go get myself diagnosed, though.”

“Yea, Junpei said you had eating issues. Kinda like I do.” Leone looked surprised, but Aoi forged on. “I do know a good recipe, though, if it’s alright if I use your kitchen. Is your stove still broken?”

“O-Oh, no, I got it fixed a few days ago. Still hasn’t been used yet, though.”

“Then I’ll be the first?”

“Yea, go ahead, be my guest.”

Aoi could feel Leone’s eyes on his back as he walked to the kitchen, but he pushed it off. He wasn’t sure if the guy would even have the right ingredients, but he could always improvise if he needed to. The kitchen seemed much more used than the main room of the apartment, cute little magnets on the fridge and different cooking utensils in scattered holders here and there. He pulled a large bowl from one cupboard and opened the fridge. Alright, there were eggs, no surprise there, milk, chocolate sauce… he could probably leave the chocolate out for now, unless he really needed it. Chocolate sauce tended to be messy anyways, and if they were eating on the couch, it’d be better to use something else. He placed the ingredients on the counter and started going through the cupboards once more. He could hear Junpei come back and talk to Leone, but he ignored them.

Aoi never really had a name for this meal before, it was just something special for him and Akane. He always made it when they were having a particularly rough time, when no matter what he did, he couldn’t get her to smile. He hadn’t made it in such a long time, it took him a moment to remember how. It was before even the second Nonary game, months before, and the last time he suggested making it, Akane had said they should stop holding onto kiddie things like that. He knew she’d meant well by it, but it had still hurt. So what if it was a little bit childish? He’d liked it, and so had she.

He knew he’d been forced to grow up too fast after their parents died. Maybe that was why he still enjoyed childish things. His mind flicked back to the Nonary Game, to the engine room and the sandbags.

_ “Look, Ace! It's some kind of snowman secret meeting!” _

_ “ _ _ Those are just bags full of sand. You use them as a counterweight when you're lifting something with a pully system.” _

So maybe he slammed the milk jug down with a bit more force than he intended to. So what if Ace had shot down his goofy idea, it wasn’t like he was a shining example of adulthood himself. Santa- or rather, Aoi- was allowed to enjoy whatever goofy musings he damn well pleased!

“Aoi?”

Aoi nearly jumped out of his skin, turning to see a worried looking Junpei. “What?”

“Are you okay?” Junpei stepped forward, closer than Aoi expected, but he couldn’t move back as he was already pinned against the counter.

“I-I’m fine,” he managed out, cursing himself out internally for his stutter. He was just thrown off is all, it was weird.

However, his response made Junpei frown harder. “No you’re not, Aoi, you’re crying.”

Aoi reached up in surprise, touching his cheek. He could feel the warm wetness. “I… I didn’t realize.”

“What’s wrong? What happened with Leone hit a sore spot?” Junpei reached up and, to Aoi’s surprise, gently cupped his cheeks, brushing the tears away with his thumbs.

Aoi froze for a few moments before leaning into his touch. “Just… About my sister, and growing up too fast.”

“It’s alright…” Junpei’s voice was soft and far gentler than Aoi ever would have anticipated from him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Aoi could probably lean forward and kiss him if he wanted to. But he didn’t want to, that would be really stupid, he was just being nice, and they were friends, this is what friends did for each other. Aoi was sure he did this sort of thing for Leone too. Junpei was too nice, even now.

He took a deep, shaky breath. “I should, but… Later. I said I’d cook something for Leone. Do you want some too?”

Junpei raised a brow. “What are you making?”

“Well, it doesn’t have a name. Maybe I’ll come up with something while I cook.”

Junpei stepped back, and Aoi’s cheeks suddenly felt cold where his hands pulled away. “Alright. You gonna be alright if I leave you alone in here?”

Aoi rolled his eyes. “I’m crying, not a wreck, jeez. Go make sure Leone isn’t going to fall off the couch or whatever.”

Junpei smiled slightly, putting his hands in his pockets. “Fine, fine.”

Aoi let out a soft sigh of relief as Junpei left the kitchen. He couldn’t believe he’d started crying over something so stupid. Shouldn’t he be over this by now? It wasn’t like getting over his sister’s death, that was fairly recent still, but he’d lost his parents when he was like, nine, or something like that, he couldn’t even remember it right because it felt like it was always just him taking care of Akane.

He took a few slices from the loaf of bread and cut the crusts off, careful to avoid his fingers. Even though it had been a long time, he could almost act out of pure muscle memory. He could hear the TV turning on, and Leone and Junpei speaking in hushed voices. Distantly, he wondered if they were talking about him. Probably, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

In his mind’s eye, he could see Akane, sitting at the kitchen table, slowly beginning to perk up as she smelled the cooking toast and sweetness of brown sugar. He cracked open a few eggs and separate the whites from the yolks.

He let himself be lost in his memories again. Christmas morning, Akane cheering because Santa had come and left them some presents, and Aoi had even made her breakfast, and on top of it all it was snowing, and she made him swear he’d go out and play with her later. It was never easy, working his ass off to get the money together to get them gifts, and he couldn’t always get all they wanted, but it was always worth it to see her happy. That was what drove him back then, to make her happy and eventually save her. 

Aoi took a deep, shuddering breath. Somehow, despite the memories and tears rolling down his face, he felt calm. He was standing in someone else’s kitchen, crying as he made food because they’d suffered a bad break up, and it was fine. He couldn’t tell if it was the ridiculous of it all or if he’d simply gotten so emotional he’d rolled over into barely feeling anything at all. He reached up and wiped his eyes before washing his hands. He didn’t want to get snot or tears on their food, after all. Then he loaded up the three plates he pulled from the lower cupboard and made his way back to the main room.

Leone looked over from the TV, his own teary eyes wide with concern. “Aoi? Are you alright, did you cut yourself?”

Aoi shook his head, smiling a bit. “No, it’s fine. I just got caught up in my memories. This meal… This is the meal I’d make when my sister was having a really bad day, usually when nothing else could get her to smile. Hope you guys like it too.”

He handed one to Leone, then Junpei, avoiding looking at him. He knew Junpei would probably be looking at him strangely. For the first time in a long time, though, it didn’t hurt to think about his sister. In a way, he could imagine her being there with them, eating and comforting Leone, laughing with Junpei about something inane.

Leone immediately dug into the food, then moaned obscenely. “Good FUCK you are a good cook, what the hell is this?”

Aoi laughed a little, mostly because he’d never known someone to moan like that while eating food before. “Well, I never really had a name for it. It’s kind of like french toast, I guess? With scrambled egg whites with lemon juice.”

He imagined Leone would have a response to that, if his mouth wasn’t stuffed full of bread and eggs. Aoi sat down on Leone’s other side, eating slower. He wasn’t sure what they were watching at the moment, other than that it was some sort of cartoon. Leone finished his food fairly quickly and placed the plate on the coffee table, leaning back.

“You wanna know something, Aoi?” he asked, tilting his head.

Aoi looked over, raising a brow. “Sure, I guess.”

Leone looked back at him with that same sincere smile he’d worn while comforting him not long ago. “Had the first time I met you not been hungover and sleeping with Junpei in his bathtub, I probably would have stabbed you.”

Whatever response tumbled from Aoi’s startled lips was interrupted by Junpei choking on his food. Leone slapped his back as he hunched over, and after he’d dislodged whatever was caught in his throat, he looked at Leone incredulously. “How can you say that so casually?”

Leone shrugged. “Just figured he should know. Not like I want to stab him now, I just knew before that he was the reason you went into your whole downward spiral after you went missing. Well, the reason you went missing too. So of course I didn’t like the concept of him.” He turned back to Aoi, grinning. “But you’re pretty cool. You’re fun and nice and broken, just like us.”

Aoi glanced behind Leone at Junpei, who just gave him an exasperated shrug. Aoi sighed. “Honestly? Not sure if I should be insulted or flattered.”

Leone laughed. “Yea, that probably sounded pretty weird. I’m not great with talking, it’s… Hard to express myself. I mean, i know I haven’t been through the same whatever you two have. I don’t even really know what happened. I know that someone hurt you badly, Aoi, and they killed your sister. I know you hurt Junpei and others only because you wanted to save her. And while that doesn’t make it right, it makes it understandable.”

Aoi swallowed thickly, wondering if Leone would feel the same if Leone knew that five people had died in the game he set up. If Junpei hadn’t told him already, Aoi sure as hell wasn’t going to. He had a feeling Leone might actually consider stabbing him again. “I guess.”

Leone nodded. “So… We can try to help put each other back together, since obviously we haven’t been able to do it ourselves.”

Junpei shook his head. “Honestly, sometimes I can’t tell if you’re wise, or a complete dumbass.”

Leone laughed and Aoi let himself join him. It was absurd and stupid but it felt so good, so right. Aoi could see Junpei smile at them both, fond and amused in equal measure. It felt good, and Aoi realized it was the first time he’d genuinely laughed in a long, long time.

“Heh… Maybe one day, when I know for sure you won’t kill me when you hear it, I’ll tell you everything that happened. Well, everything I know. Junpei might have to fill in some blanks,” Aoi finally said when their laughter died down.

“Only if and when you’re ready, man, or if you think I absolutely need to know. That shit can’t be easy to talk about,” Leone responded, curling up in his spot. He yawned and nuzzled down into his blanket. “I’m full and warm. You guys mind if I take a nap? You can stay if you want, I’m a heavy sleeper when I’m out.”

Junpei pat his head, smiling softly. “Take a nap. We could all probably use one.”

“No kidding,” Aoi added. He couldn’t lie, he felt exhausted.

Still, he stayed awake, flipping through the channels. After a while, he glanced over to see that Leone had indeed fallen asleep, but Junpei, to his surprise, looked troubled.

“Something on your mind?” Aoi whispered, just loud enough to be heard over the TV.

“Just… The way Leone talked. He described us as fun and nice and broken.”

“Well, yea, I guess. I dunno how I’m fun exactly, but broken is a damn good word to describe me, and I imagine you too.”

“Yea. But he said  _ us _ , as in himself included.”

“What, you wouldn’t consider him broken enough to compare?”

“No, that’s not it.” Junpei shook his head, frown only deepening. “He couldn’t have been talking about today’s break up, that’s not how he is. The problem is… I have no idea what he could be talking about. He’s never shared any sort of massive traumatic experiences with me.”

Aoi looked to Leone’s sleeping form in surprise. He had spoken about it so easily, Aoi had simply assumed it was something that he’d confided in Junpei and drew support from him, just as Junpei drew support from Leone, but according to Junpei, that wasn’t the case at all. So that begged the question, what could he be hiding?

Aoi shook his head and pushed it aside.  “I guess if he wants to share, he’ll share, just like he told us we could do.”

Junpei nodded. “I guess it just feels wrong. I’ll have to ask him about it later.”

Aoi nodded, leaning back on the couch himself. The revelation was troubling, but there was nothing they could do about that right now. Instead, he closed his eyes, folding his arms over his chest. Maybe he could catch a bit of sleep before he had to leave. He’d probably regret sleeping upright on a couch later, but there wasn’t exactly room to stretch out, and sitting with them was far comforting than moving somewhere to rest alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please leave a comment letting me know what you think!


	3. Up and Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoi, Lotus, and Leone go shopping before Junpei brings Aoi a shattering truth about their mutual friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has probably gone through the most changes so far, and hopefully for the better. Again, massive thanks to my beta reader, NorthernFlicker.  
> Also... Apparently both my beta reader and my buddy Bobthebobking both ship Leone with Junpei and Aoi. I'm still not sure how to feel about that. Like I'm totally okay with it but also it's kind of shocking because like. I never expected someone to start shipping my character with canons before I did. ALRIGHT THEN THAT'S A THING.

“Gosh, Aoi, you’re so pretty… You should wear skirts more often!”

Aoi couldn’t help but laugh, rubbing his neck and hoping his embarrassment wasn’t too visible. When Lotus had suggested they go shopping together, Aoi hadn’t been particularly fond of the idea, but Lotus wanted to spend some time together and didn’t mind if he dragged Leone along. Surprisingly, they hadn’t met before, but hit it off fairly well, chatting about fashion as Aoi walked beside them and listened. Much less surprising was the fact that Leone did not know much about fashion, much less care about current trends and popular opinion. Lotus, on the other hand, was much more knowledgeable, and they seemed to enjoy going back and forth about it. Aoi wasn’t any sort of fashion guru, but he liked to think he had a good sense of it. At the very least, he knew not to wear a striped shirt with plaid shorts like Leone had tried to leave his apartment in that day.

Somehow, they’d ended up in some store whose target demographic was usually those of the opposite gender and also five to ten years younger than either Leone or Aoi. Lotus had coaxed them into trying some things on for fun and that was how Aoi had ended up standing outside the fitting room in a silken white top, jean jacket, and flowy black skirt. Leone was cooing over him and Lotus simply looked satisfied.

“I knew you could pull it off well,” she said with a smirk.

Aoi rolled his eyes. “Not like it’s the first time I’ve worn a skirt. I have a sundress back home I haven’t worn in years.”

“Oh my gosh, you totally need to send me a picture.” Leone grinned at him before turning to Lotus. “Hey hey hey, do you think there’s anything I could pull off?”

Lotus tapped a finger to her lips, humming softly. “Hold on, let me go see what I can find.”

Aoi chuckles as Lotus moves off between the racks. “Man… Why are we here again?”

“Because you two are worried about whatever secret mission Junpei and Seven are on,” Leone replied bluntly.

Aoi sighed, turning back to his smiling friend. “Do you have to do that?”

“Always. For real, though, you should absolutely get that, you look adorable. Junpei’d probably have a heart attack.”

“You think so?” Aoi’s ears grew hot. “Heh, probably. Is he even into guys?”

“He seemed pretty into what we got up to when we were in college,” Leone said, waggling his eyebrows.

Aoi looked at him, startled. “You… What?”

Leone shrugged. “We were friends with benefits. It stopped when I got a boyfriend of course, and then all the stuff with Junpei disappearing happened.”

Aoi glanced away. “Right, right.”

Leone winced. “Sorry… Too much info?”

“More like I don’t really know how to respond.”

“Still sorry.” Leone smiled sheepishly. “I mean, if you’re worried about Junpei being taken, don’t, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be interested in me, since I just went through that break up and he’s dealing with his shit and trying to do his detective thing it’s- It’d totally be cool if you wanted to go after him.”

“Wait, what? The hell gave you that idea?” Aoi really wasn’t sure how to feel about any sort of insinuation about him and Junpei having feelings for each other, let alone getting in a relationship.

Leone winced. “Shit, I’m completely reading this all wrong, aren’t I? I’m sorry, I just thought… I mean, Junpei seems like he cares a lot about you, he talks about you a good bit.”

Aoi shook his head to clear it and took a deep breath. “I think that- It’s not really that, there’s nothing between us. We’re just trying to handle the shit we’ve been through, that’s all. There’s no…  _ us _ .”

“Right, sorry.”

An awkward silence settled between them, unable to look at each other until Lotus returned with a smile and something for Leone to try on. She hadn’t even finished talking before Leone snatched the clothing from her arms and slammed the dressing room door behind him.

Lotus stared at the door in surprise for a few moments before turning to Aoi. “Alright, what did I miss? Because I might not know him well, but I know there’s something up.”

Aoi sighed, wondering how much he could say without dying of embarrassment. “Leone apparently used to be friends with benefits with Junpei and told me not to worry about it because he was sure Junpei would be more interested in me than him.”

“Ah, I see.” Lotus put a hand on her hip. “Honestly, I thought I’d finished this sort of thing when I sent my girls off to college, but I should have seen it coming, really.”

“I guess. I hadn’t even…” Aoi pursed his lips, cutting himself off. He wanted to say he hadn’t even considered something like that, but he had, hadn’t he? When they’d been in Leone’s kitchen, Junpei had taken Aoi’s face in his hands, and- Aoi snapped himself away from that thought. That was the last thing he needed to be thinking about right now.

Even the notion made guilt stab through his gut like a hot knife. How could he even be thinking about something like that? He felt like such an asshole.

Lotus raised a brow. “You have. It’s not a big deal either way, just something to keep in mind. You don’t have to do anything about it, if you have feelings at all.”

Aoi snorted derisively. “Yea, I got one problem with that.”

“Oh?”

“Akane.”

Lotus’s lips drew together in a tight line. “Ah, I see.”

Aoi was thankful that Leone chose that moment to burst out the door again, preventing them from continuing that particular conversation. He really didn’t want to talk or even think about that right now.

Instead, he focused on what Leone was wearing. It appeared to be a red dress that came to around his knees, with a white sash tied around his waist. The top had a flat neckline, but Aoi couldn’t see much other than that, because he had put on his red jacket over the dress. He spun and the skirt flared a bit. “So what do you think? Cute, huh? And it has pockets! How cool is that?”

Aoi smiled, looking Leone up and down. “It looks really good, Leone. But why are you still wearing the jacket..?”

Leone shrugged. “I just like it. It’s warm and soft.”

Aoi shook his head. “Alright, if you say so.” Then a thought occurred to him. “Hang on, hold still a sec.”

Leone did as he was told and held still as Aoi moved behind him. Aoi carefully pulled Leone’s long red hair out of its ponytail, fluffing it as it fell around his shoulders and down his back. “What’cha think, Lotus?”

“I think you could easily get mistaken for girls, both of you,” Lotus replied with a giggle.

Leone laughed as well. “What can I say, I like my hair long, though I don’t usually keep it down.”

Lotus smiled. “You should do it more often, it looks lovely.”

“Aw, thanks Lotus, you’re the best. I’m tempted to actually get this, I feel cute as fuck.”

Aoi couldn’t help but smile as he watched Lotus and Leone launch into some inane discussion of the dress and boys and boys wearing dresses and about how society was bullshit for saying boys shouldn’t wear dresses.

Sometimes, life took you to incredible places, and sometimes, life took you to some tween girl store in the mall where you tried on clothes definitely not meant for your age or gender with your newfound friend and a woman who could easily be your mother and the employees looked at you strangely because yea, you probably shouldn’t be here, but you weren’t doing anything explicitly wrong and you were probably going to buy something so there’s not much they can do other than give you funny looks. Aoi was used to them anyways, so it didn’t bother him too much, not even when they kept a closer eye on him when he stepped away from the dressing rooms to answer his phone without Lotus and Leone, accidentally or not, listening in on his end of the call. Really, how would he walk out of there wearing this stuff anyways? He wasn’t exactly inconspicuous, and he’d probably set off the alarms right away.

“Aoi?” 

He was shocked to hear Junpei’s voice on the other end, not having checked the caller ID. “Junpei? Hell, it’s been a few days since I’ve heard from you, are you okay? How about Seven?”

“He’s fine, I’m… banged up, but I’ll be fine.” Junpei’s tone was far too serious for a simple check-in call. “Aoi, we need to talk.”

Aoi swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. “About what? What happened?”

Junpei stayed quiet for a few moments. “... Where are you?”

“At the mall with Lotus and Leone.”

“Alright, this probably isn’t great to talk about in public, let alone over the phone. Can we meet later?”

“Yea, sure, where at? Your place?”

“No, the walls are thin, Leone will probably hear us. Is it okay if I come to yours?”

Aoi didn’t like the sound of that. What could be so important that he needed to talk to Aoi, but was worried about Leone hearing it? “Yea, sure. Want me to text you the address?”

“Yea, that’ll work. How’s tonight sound, then?”

“I’ll see you there.”

Aoi took a deep breath as he hung up, a cold weight suddenly settling in his gut. He had more than a bad feeling about this, but what could he do? Saying no wouldn’t have helped, so all he could do was wait for that night and try not to give away his distress to Lotus and Leone.

Oh, who was he kidding? Lotus was guaranteed to see that something was wrong, and Aoi could never tell what Leone could pick up on, what he guessed at, or what he completely missed. It would be better to not hide it and simply tell them the truth.

He walked back to the others, who looked somewhere between curious and concerned at his troubled expression. “Hey,” Lotus started, “Everything alright?”

Aoi nodded. “Yea. Just got a call from Junpei, he says him and Seven are okay, but he needs to talk to me.”

“Oh. I wonder what it’s about… Probably detective shit, he never shares that stuff with me. Says it’ll keep me safer or whatever.” Leone huffed, placing his hands on his hips.

Aoi snorted softly, smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Well, that’s probably true. I’ll have to see what it’s all about, maybe he’ll end up telling you too this time.”

“Heh, it’s a nice thought at least.” Leone still seemed a bit troubled by it, but thankfully, he didn’t press. “So, you okay to hang around a little more, or you thinking you should go?”

Aoi flicked on his phone screen again, checking the time. “I should probably go. I have to clean up a little, since we’re meeting at my place.”

“Bow chika wow wow.”

“ _ Leone _ ,” Lotus hissed, elbowing Leone in the ribs before Aoi got a chance to respond. “Really?”

“Sorry, sorry, couldn’t resist. You guys usually just hang out at Junpei’s place, or mine sometimes.” Leone at least had the decency to look a bit sheepish under Lotus’s stern glare, throwing Aoi an apologetic look.

Aoi shook his head, sighing through his nose. He really did not want to think about that insinuation either right now. Besides, with Junpei’s tone, Aoi would bet those particular implications were far from Junpei’s mind. “Yea, well, apparently his walls are too thin or something. For right now, do you two really think I should get this? It’s not really like anything I usually wear.”

“Dude, totally,” Leone said immediately. “You look like you could walk down a runway or something in that, get it, flaunt it, you pull it off better than any of the tween girls that usually come here.”

Aoi and Lotus snickered. “He does have a point, though,” Lotus added, “You look pretty good in it, so if you’re comfortable wearing a skirt, I’d recommend it.”

Aoi looked himself over in the mirror again, considering it. It wasn’t something he usually wore, but… “Alright, I’ll get it, on one condition: Leone gets the dress he’s wearing too.”

Leone flushed a bright red, though not quite as bright as his hair or dress. “Ah jeez, Aoi, don’t put me on the spot like that! I mean, I know I look alright in it, but I dunno about like, actually wearing this around.”

“That’s my deal, take it or leave it. It’s not like this place is super expensive.”

Leone rocked back and forth on his heels, hemming and hawing in front of the mirror. “... Oh alright, fine. As long as I get to see you wearing that again, dork. I’m not going to be the only one wearing stuff I’m not used to.” He stuck his tongue out at Aoi like the mature twenty-something he was.

Aoi rolled his eyes and went back into the dressing room to change. By the time he got back out, Leone had changed as well, and they finally went to check out and leave, Lotus following close behind.

“I’m glad we did this. I hate to admit it, but I’ve missed hanging out with my own girls, doing stuff like this,” Lotus admitted, smiling fondly at them both.

“Ah jeez, I see how it is, you’re just using us to replace your daughters,” Leone teased, “That’s why you had us try on dresses and skirts and shit.”

Lotus shook her head. “No, that’s not why. I thought they’d genuinely suit you, and I was right.”

Aoi smiled. “Yea, thanks. I’m gonna get going, alright? You gonna get home alright, Leone?”

Leone rolled his eyes. “C’mon, I may not drive often but I  _ do _ know how to drive. I’ll be fine. Kick Junpei’s ass for making us worry for me, yea?”

“Heh, yea, yea. See you later.” Aoi waved to them both and the three went their separate ways.

Aoi never said goodbye anymore. It always felt too final, as if he’d never see that person ever again. It was just too uncomfortable. So instead, it was always “See you later” or something of the sort. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint why it bothered him so much, really. Perhaps it was just since he had others in his life now, he didn’t want to face the prospect of losing any of them, whether through drifting apart or something more forcible.

The drive back to his apartment was quiet, the radio a dull static in his ears. Aoi had hooked up his phone to play music, but he wasn’t exactly focused on it. His mind slowly turned from the pleasant time he had with Lotus and Leone at the mall to Junpei’s call and how his voice had sounded thick with worry and something darker Aoi couldn’t put words to.

When he got back to his apartment, Aoi realized there really wasn’t much to clean. There were no more mounds of papers dealing with everything from puzzle aspects to ICE-9 research to profiles on the others who would be in the second Nonary game beside himself and Akane. There were no more empty pizza boxes and take-out containers from late nights they stayed up together, pouring over and checking and double checking every last detail.

It wasn’t the first time he’d come back to this realization. It wasn’t exactly less startling than the first, second, or fifth time, but it hurt less, somehow. Aoi placed his bag on the couch and went into the kitchen, making a pot of coffee. He wasn’t sure how much coffee Junpei usually drank, but he was likely to want some when he could get it. Either that, or a stiff drink. Aoi didn’t exactly drink, though, at least, not at home, so Junpei would have to hold off on that until he left unless he brought his own.

The apartment was quiet except for the sound of the coffee maker puttering to life, and that was okay. Aoi was alone here, he had been for the past six, nearly seven months, and that was okay. His sister wasn’t there anymore, and that was- well, not okay, but he was learning to live with the ache in his chest and the inevitable sins of the past peering over his shoulder.

“I did everything I could,” he said to the empty space, walls painted a soft sky blue and floor decorated with navy and white tile, to the white cabinets and chrome appliances. “I did everything I could, everything she told me to. It’s not my fault.”

The words echoed back, feeling weak in his ears, but he forced himself to believe them, even as his voice cracked and a lump formed in his throat. Whatever guilt he felt, whatever he couldn’t get rid of, that would always be the truth.

_ “Faith, Hope, Love, and Luck… I want you to learn to like those words again.” _

Akane’s words rang in his ears, and he smiled softly. The leaf words still felt like bile in his throat, but he would try, starting with having faith, if only in his own actions, in himself. He could lead a happy life for his sister.

Aoi nearly jumped out of his skin as he heard someone knock on the door. He glanced at the coffee pot to see it full. How long had he been standing there, lost in his own head? He shook his head and pushed off the counter, peeking through the peephole in his door. Junpei was on the other side, a bit battered and bandaged and bruised, but alive and well.

Aoi opened the door, giving him a little wave. “Hey. You look like shit.”

Junpei snorted, pressing his hands into his pockets. “Oh shut up. You gonna let me in?”

“Yea, yea.” Aoi stepped to the side and closed the door behind Junpei.

Junpei slowly walked in, kicking his shoes off by the door. “Nice place,” He said, slowly making his way to the couch. Aoi could see him holding something under his arm. It appeared to be a file of some sort.

“Thanks. What’s with the file?” Aoi asked, dropping onto the couch and looking up at Junpei expectantly. “Is that what you were so freaked about over the phone?”

Junpei pursed his lips. He settled onto the couch, slower and more hesitant, and it seemed like his entire body felt heavy. “Seven… He found this file. Apparently, Leone’s involved with whatever’s in here.”

“What? Does that mean you don’t know what’s in it?”

Junpei slowly shook his head. “I’ll admit it… I was scared. I have no idea what’s in here, I just know Leone is somehow a part of it. It might be nothing, or it might be bad. Seven… He looked really serious.”

Aoi nodded. “He’s your best friend. No wonder you’re nervous.”

Junpei set the file down on the coffee table, and they both stared at it for a few moments, in silence. “... Part of me wants to hide it away and pretend it doesn’t exist. What you don’t know can’t hurt you, right? But… I can’t. We found it in Free the Soul’s headquarters, after all.”

Aoi’s head snapped to the side, staring at him with wide eyes. “What?! How the hell did Seven get this?”

Junpei rubbed his neck. “We were there. We were going through stuff and that’s when he found it. Before we blew the place up, at least.”

“You… What.”

Junpei smiled a bit, chuckling. “We blew it up. They’re probably gonna be pretty pissed at us.”

Aoi stared at him, completely dumbfounded. “If you weren’t still injured, I’d smack you upside the head.”

“Man, what is it with my friends being so physically violent?” Junpei asked, still smiling.

“Yea, well, I’m not usually. Believe it or not, I’m a pacifist.”

Junpei raised a brow. “Really? Never would have guessed.”

Aoi nodded, leaning back and crossing his arms. “Yea. I mean, violence in media, it is what it is. And I get that some shit just can’t be solved by holding hands. But me, I’d rather not get into that shit. The only reason I ever would, I ever did, was for Akane.”

Junpei nodded. “Makes sense. Well… Think we’re ready for this? For whatever we find here?”

Aoi pursed his lips. “... Alright, let’s do it.”

Junpei reached forward and flipped open the folder to the first page. “The… Decision Experiment?”

“Look,” Aoi said, pointing to the date, “This was done a year and a half before the Nonary project.”

“Yea… Though it looks like this time, they didn’t kidnap random kids, people… Members volunteered their own kids for this thing.” Junpei sounded understandably disgusted. “Wait… Here… Leone Diaz. That’s him.”

Aoi swallowed, dread filling his stomach. “So he was one of the participants. So not like, one of the members or something.” He couldn’t deny that it was at least a little bit relieving. It still wasn’t good that he was involved at all, but at least they knew he wasn’t part of the ones behind it.

Together, they slowly flipped through the pages, falling silent fairly quickly. There was a page focusing on each participant, all numbered, detailing horrible things that happened to each, things they were forced to do, choices they had to make. It also included how they died. It seemed that not one of the children who participated even survived, though it was only listed if they killed someone else, not who they were killed by, if anyone. For some reason, the file skipped the number three, but they didn’t pay much mind to it yet. Eventually, they turned the page, staring at a picture of Leone.

“Jeez… I mean, he’s still short, but he was such a tiny kid.” Junpei gave a soft, somewhat hysterical laugh. “Can you believe this guy grew up to punch out some six-foot seven guy at a party? I mean the other guy was drunk but still.”

Aoi knew he was avoiding moving on, avoiding finding out what else was in there. He reached over, placing a hand on Junpei’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s just… get this over with.”

Junpei sighed softly. “What do I do? Whatever’s in here… What do I do with that?”

“I guess it depends on what it is.” Aoi gave him a soft, hopefully reassuring smile. “And no matter what, you’ve got Seven, and Lotus, and… You’ve got me, too. Maybe I’m not the most stable in all this, but I’ll try my best.”

“Yea. Same for you, you know?” Junpei took a deep breath. “Alright, let’s do this.”

Together, they turned over the picture to find the rest of the page on Leone. Slowly, they read over the file, over his parents and siblings and their roles in the experiment. Here, there were far more pictures, far more details, and the Experiment fell into place. Aoi wanted to scream, he wanted to puke, he wanted to turn back time and make sure he never opened this file.

At least in the first Nonary Game, only Akane had died, and there had been a way to save her, there were timelines where she lived. At least in the Second game, the game they oversaw, Aoi knew that their deaths, that the ninth man and the man they replaced Snake with were necessary, they had to happen. 

The flames licked at his mind and he wondered how Leone’s demons came to him, in the press of a button, in the needle of a syringe, in the flicker of a candle in a dark room, in the static of a speaker as a man explained to a child how to kill another. Did he lie awake thinking of what happened? Did he see blood in the drain of the shower? He’d seen that sort of thing in movies, read it in books, and in reality it was still far worse.

“Why…”

Junpei’s voice made Aoi jump, snapped out of his thoughts. “Why what?”

Junpei’s hands were shaking. “Why… Why everything. Why did this happen? Why didn’t Leone ever tell me about this? And something else…” With trembling fingers, he turned the file over again and picked up the first sheet. This one contained the names of people running the experiment. “Hongou wanted to access the Field because of his prosopagnosia. But here, they’re trying to get kids to access the field, and he’s not even involved. Why were they doing this? What was the real purpose of this… This Decision Experiment?”

Aoi shook his head. “I don’t know.” He turned through Leone’s part of the file, quickly flipping over the gory pictures and painful descriptions of events. What could compel Free the Soul to do this sort of thing? Was Hongou just playing into their hand?

Finally, he reached the last page, detailing the conclusion of the experiment.

_ “It is with happy heart that I can confirm the success of the Decision Experiment. Participant #3 preformed even better than we had hoped and this data will provide excellent founding for the Decision Game and ensure the success of the Ambidex Game as well. Participant #3 will be released into a happy home to grow until he is needed, should the actions of the timeline require. Of course, this success means that in the timeline you read this, the second Nonary Game orchestrated by the participants of our own first game will have failed. We must prepare accordingly to Brother’s plans to be sure the Decision Game proceeds properly.” _

Aoi and Junpei looked to each other, confusion evident in both their expressions. “They knew about the second Nonary Game?” Aoi asked, though he knew the answer as well as Junpei, it was right there on the paper. “But… What the hell is the Decision Game? What the hell is the Ambidex Game?!”

Junpei shook his head, looking just as lost as Aoi felt. “I… I have no idea.”

They both stared at the last sheet in the file, left with a horrible revelation about their friend and far more questions than answers.

* * *

 

Junpei wobbled up the stairs, unwilling to take the elevator this time. Every step brought him higher, but it left him with a sinking feeling all the same. At least it gave him longer to think, or perhaps, longer to avoid the possibility of seeing Leone.

Leone Diaz, the third participant, the sole survivor of the failed Decision Experiment, the first serious attempt at having children access the Morphogenetic Field. His best friend, the man who had been helping and supporting him since his own experience with the Nonary Game, was part of whatever sick plans that Free the Soul had in motion, and he never knew. Suddenly, blowing up their headquarters didn’t feel so satisfying anymore. The taste of vomit still remained in his mouth from when he’d pulled over on the way home just to puke. He suspected he would throw up again, if he had anything left in his stomach.

Finally, he reached his floor and trudged down the hall. Even if he didn’t see Leone tonight, he’d definitely see him the next morning.

Time passed, seasons changed. Junpei loved the warmth of summer like he always did, he stood nearly unaffected by the pollen and dust of spring. He hadn’t seen Akane in years but he was so determined to find her, or what happened to her, and he learned what happened, and he found her brother instead.

In some ways, he worried that maybe, some part of him was trying to replace Akane with Aoi. But that was pretty stupid, when he thought about it, because even if they were siblings, they weren’t alike much at all. Then again, perhaps he hadn’t known her very well, considering in this timeline, he failed to save her, and all of her actions could have been fake. Aoi seemed genuine enough, more open than in the game, sadder and more fragile but still recognizable. He was afraid to ask if Akane had been genuine, both for Aoi’s reaction and his own sanity. 

Maybe it was better to not know the truth. After all, look what happened when he’d asked questions about Leone.

He finally got to his floor and had to bite down a groan of defeat. Leone was sitting outside the door to his own apartment for some reason. Exasperation was soon chased away by concern, however, when he looked closer. He knew that distant look in Leone’s eyes all too well now, fogged over with thought rather than actually seeing whatever he was looking at.

Junpei approached the other, gently nudging him. “Hey, Leone, what are you doing out here?”

Leone jumped, looking at Junpei with wide eyes and not seeming to recognize him for a moment. “O-Oh, hey Junpei. Just uh… Locked myself out of my apartment, heh.”

Junpei snorted, but in a way, it reassured him. Leone was still Leone. There was a lot he was hiding, a lot he didn’t know Junpei knew about now, but opening that file hadn’t suddenly changed him, and what was in that file had always been there. Junpei just knew about it now, and hoped he could help. “Come on, dumbass, I’ll pick the lock.”

Leone laughed softly, standing and moving aside so Junpei could work. He was only quiet for a few moments, however. “So… I’m not usually one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but… You’re not drunk.”

Junpei paused in his movements. He hadn’t wanted to chance drunkenly blurting out that he knew about the experiment before he’d properly had a chance to think about it all and a way to approach it. He probably wouldn’t have slept tonight either way, after seeing that file. He decided to stay close to the truth. “I’ve got a lot to think about. Figured alcohol wouldn’t help much.”

Leone chuckled softly. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay. Had me worried sick with this secret mission stuff. I hate your job, you know?”

Junpei snorted and opened the door, standing up again. “Well it’s not like yours is much better, quality-wise.”

He was surprised to see Leone looking guilty when he turned around. “Yea, that’s the other thing… I kinda got a call today, after I hung out with Lotus and Aoi. I got laid off. They didn’t really explain anything, they just told me not to come in tomorrow.”

Junpei pursed his lips. That wasn’t good, to say the least. “Well your manager was a bitch anyways. You’ll figure something out, you’re a smart guy.”

Leone laughed. “Thanks, you fucking nerd.”

“Look who’s talking.” Junpei shook his head, walking back to his own apartment.

“Hey Junpei?”

Junpei turned to Leone again. “Yea? What’s up?”

Leone smiled, warm and friendly and soft. “Hope you sort out whatever it is that’s on your mind. It’s pretty obvious it’s getting to you.”

Junpei felt like he’d been sucker punched, but he forced himself to smile back. “Yea, I’ll be fine. Hope you get yourself a better job.”

“Heh, G’night, dork.”

“Oh fuck off.”

They both went into their respective apartments and Junpei slumped against the door. He sat there in silence for a little bit before pulling out his phone, tapping Seven’s contact. It took a few rings, but he picked up.

“Junpei? Something up?”

“Yea, just got home.”

“Good to hear. Did you… Did you look at the file?”

Junpei took a deep breath. “Yea. Yea, we did.”

He could hear movement on the other end of the line, most likely Seven sitting down or something. “Sorry for not warning you. Not sure anything I could have said would prepare you, though. Kinda feel bad for the kid now.”

“He’s still Leone, though. Nothing’s changed other than us knowing.”

“Yea, I know. Just explains a few things.”

“I guess.”

There was a stretch of silence between them before Seven spoke again. “You gonna be okay, Junpei?”

Junpei couldn’t help the bitter laugh that bubbled from his throat like bile. “Define okay. Everything’s fucked up, man, just… everything is so fucked up.”

“I know, bud, I know. So what’d you do with the file?”

“Aoi’s got it. He locked it up or something.”

“Alright. Get some rest, okay?”

Junpei snorted. “I’ll try, but no promises.”

“All I ask, man. Good night.”

“Night.”

Junpei hung up, letting his head fall back and thump against the door. He wondered what Aoi and Leone were doing, if they were making food or getting showers or crawling into bed. There was no way he’d be able to sleep tonight, not with everything else on his mind.

Junpei finally pulled himself off the floor and trudged into his kitchen to grab something to eat and try to sort this all out.

* * *

 

Leone closed the door behind himself, hands trembling and heart beating a million miles a minute in his chest. He could feel the tears burning in the corners of his eyes.

Junpei knew. And Aoi probably did as well, considering that was who Junpei had called and they were trying to pretend nothing had happened but they knew they knew they knew- He coughed softly as he choked down the sounds of his own sobs. He didn’t want Junpei to hear  _ anything _ because Leone knew he wouldn’t be able to lie, not to him.

How long had it been then, eleven years? Yes, that sounded about right. Eleven years, just like he had been when it had started. Six months of horror and then he was released on his birthday and he loved that day because he was free and he never saw that place again and his parents and brother and sister were gone but he was free and he hated hated hated this closed box of an apartment but it was home and Junpei was home and Aoi was gone but that was okay.

Fire and knives and needles flickered in his mind so much clearer than they had been six months ago. Six months ago they were foggy, strange images and thoughts that overlapped and contradicted but when Junpei came home everything came into sudden, painful focus and he smiled and laughed and spoke like nothing had ever happened. He’d known Junpei somehow, he’d known Tenmyouji, and things were going to happen, horrible things that he couldn’t stop, he shouldn’t stop, he wouldn’t be able to stop and he needed to be okay with that.

Leone stumbled to the window and threw it open, drinking in the fresh air like he’d just been drowning. It was okay, he was okay, Junpei and Aoi were okay, and eventually it would all be over.

Brother’s plans were in action and there was nothing he could do. He didn’t even know what those plans were, he just knew he was being used as a pawn. He did his best not to think about it, and usually it worked, but it was a little harder some days.

He wondered what Junpei would say to him, or if he’d pretend nothing had happened, that he had no idea. He wasn’t sure what he prefered, either. He carefully sat on the windowsill.  He could probably fall right out if he leaned forward a little more. He’d plummet and then nothing. It might even be nice.

Leone sighed and slumped his head back against the wall. “Hold it together, Leone. No matter what Brother’s up to, you’ve got Junpei, and you’ve got Aoi now too. It’s fine. You’re fine. It’s all fine.”

Then again, plummeting to the sidewalk below to end his suffering was an incredibly tempting idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Please leave a comment, they really mean a lot to me! And thanks for reading!


	4. Honey and Vanilla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoi begins going through his sister's office, Junpei and Leone reminisce on their friendship on a hot summer day, and Junpei wakes up after getting blackout drunk. Good times and bad are had all around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter actually has a scene in it that I've been planning since the beginning of writing this fic. I'm glad I finally get to write it, I like to think it's pretty heartfelt. Huge thanks to my beta reader as always, and hope you enjoy!

Aoi figured it was about time to stop avoiding it.

He carefully opened the door to his sister’s office, flicking on the light. He’d had someone still clean the place, so it thankfully wasn’t covered in half a year’s worth of dust, but it was still cold and empty all the same. Still, it was about time he did this.

He started with cleaning off the top of her desk. The little trinkets and desk toys could go on a shelf, files could go to his office. He felt a little bad for not exactly doing much in the way of running Crash Keys since the Nonary Game. Thankfully, things had gone alright, the organization had mostly focused on gathering information about Free the Soul and biding their time, as well as taking over Cradle Pharmaceuticals. He figured it was finally time to actually figure out what the hell he was going to do with it all, though.

Gradually, he went through the papers. There were receipts and files and pictures and even if it was for one of the worst times in his life, the second Nonary Game, it filled him with a sort of nostalgic warmth of memories of he and his sister sitting together and planning, laughing about some of the sillier parts, and quiet remorse over the more gruesome.

He smiled softly as he placed the papers in a box and nudged some of the pictures aside, but he froze when seeing one in particular.

It was Clover, laughing and smiling and holding onto her brother’s arm. Snake-  _ No, Light _ , he corrected himself- was smiling as well, looking somewhere between amused and exasperated. Aoi wasn’t too surprised when he began to feel the tears running down his cheeks. He’d stubbornly avoided even thinking about them more than in passing, more than in association of being in both Nonary Games. If he let himself think about it more, all he could see was Clover’s body in the bathroom of the first class cabin.

He remembered the shock, the cold shiver that ran from the tips of his toes all the way to his ears, like being dunked in a bath of ice. He remembered looking to June, to Akane, wanting nothing more than to demand answers from her. He already knew this wasn’t the timeline where they won, he knew she would disappear soon enough. He remembered the guilty look flash across her face before she forced the mask back into place, reminding him to do the same.

She told him they needed this timeline for the one where she survived to exist. She never told him the Field siblings would have to die as well.

The guilt surged forward, filling his body, threatening to choke the breath from his lungs. They didn’t deserve this. Clover died thinking that someone, one of them, had killed her brother, and Light had died avenging his sister’s death. It was wrong. The only one who deserved that death was Hongou himself.

Maybe it was selfish, but he was glad he hadn’t been there to see Light die. He knew what happened, he’d heard the others shouting when he went to see what was happening. He’d taken Clover’s body and Light’s ashes and gave them to their parents with a letter explaining as much as he could, and he knew it would never be enough. They’d never truly have their answers, and even if they did, he doubted it would put them at peace.

He missed them. He’d only gotten to be around them for a short time, but they’d been good company. Clover’s energy and positivity helped him keep up his snarky front, and Light’s calm reason helped him stay calm as well, even when he pretended to lose his temper. 

He stood and took a frame from the shelf, containing some picture of himself and Akane when they were young. He already had this same picture on his own shelf, so he took it out, gently placing it in the box before replacing it with the one of the Field siblings.

He wondered if Light would still believe in those leaf words now, when one of the people he’d played the first Nonary Game with had caused his and his sister’s death in a second. Aoi wanted to assure himself that he was innocent, but he knew that even if he hadn’t been the one holding the knife, he and Akane set up the game, they created the scenario, even if it was unknowing on Aoi’s part. He had blood on his hands, and he had to accept that.

Aoi just wished Akane had told him. He could have been prepared, or maybe they could have come up with something to fake their deaths rather than they actually die.

At the end of the day, though, all the wishing in the world wouldn’t change a thing. He just continued to pack things up, moving the more important documents out of the room. He knew he couldn’t get it all done in one day, but it was good to make progress.

Steadily, he moved more and more files aside. Most of them could probably be stored or shredded, as he had copies of the same ones in his own office. However, as he kept going, he began to see some strange things, papers and files and names he didn’t recognize. There was someone named Phi, and another woman named Alice. Strange diseases and puzzles he didn’t recognize, names and dates in the future, and he began to wonder just how much Akane hadn’t told him. He didn’t know what any of this was, but it was obviously important.

He began piling the papers together, planning to take a closer look later, but he paused, taking a closer look at one as his blood ran cold. There was a familiar name here, one that he’d only seen once before.

_ The AB Game. _

The same title had shown up on the final page of the Decision Experiment file, but here it was, in his sister’s own handwriting. For a moment, his hand twitched for his phone, to call Junpei and tell him what he’d found, but he held back. There was no reason to tell him anything yet. Besides, this was  _ Aoi’s _ sister, he and his sister’s group, her files were now his. He wanted to fully go through her files and find whatever information about this he could. Then he could tell Junpei.

Aoi couldn’t help but wonder just how much Akane hadn’t told him.

* * *

 

“You know what? Fuck June. Fuck June up the ass with a rusty knife.”

Junpei burst out in startled laughter, looking up from his book. “Jeez Leone, and here I thought you liked the heat.”

“Not when it makes me all sweaty and my clothes stick and ride up my ass, fuck that noise. We should go swimming or something.”

Aoi glanced up over the papers he was examining to see Leone sitting upside-down on the couch, glassing sitting on the coffee table presumably so they wouldn’t fall off. For a moment, he’d forgotten that Leone had no idea about their nicknames in the Nonary Game and was ready to defend his sister’s honor. It was the middle of the actual month of June, though, and as Leone said, it was quite hot. It didn’t help that Junpei’s apartment, now their regular hangout spot, didn’t have the best air conditioning, not that Leone’s own apartment or the rest of the building was any better. The air was thick with humidity and even in tank tops and shorts with fans turned on, Junpei and Aoi were drenched in sweat. Despite his complaints, Leone was still wearing his red jacket and a pair of jeans. When Aoi started to say something about it, Junpei made a motion to zip his lips behind Leone’s back. Aoi could only guess it was a touchy subject, so he left it, for now at least.

Junpei sighed and put his book down. “Yea, it’s been even hotter than usual this year too. The local pool is probably packed, though.”

Leone sighed. “Yea, no kidding. We could go watch some movies or something, they usually have good air conditioning.” He rolled off the couch and landed on his feet before sitting down again, this time right side up.

Junpei snickered. “Aren’t you supposed to be writing or something?”

Aoi raised a brow. “Writing?”

Leone sighed heavily. “Yea, I’m a writer. Well, I haven’t been published or anything, but I’m writing a novel. It’s just one of those days.”

Aoi put his papers in his lap, curious. “One of those days? What do you mean?”

Junpei groaned a bit and Leone swatted his shoulder before speaking. “I dunno, I just get these days… It’s like… Do you ever get those times where you don’t feel real, exactly? It’s like, you’re not actually a person, you’re just a thought in someone’s head, like a character in a book or a game or a movie, you don’t really exist except in others’ mind and pixels and words on a page? And when the story ends, you’re just… gone? What happens when the story ends?”

Aoi stared in silence while Junpei lightly thumped Leone’s shoulder. “I’m pretty sure that’s just you, man. Or maybe just a writer thing.”

“I guess. My brain’s all fucked up man. I just get those times where I feel like I’m kinda drowning in self-hatred and other times where I feel like I could just disappear at any moment.” Leone shrugged, leaning back on the couch with a sigh. “It’s… I dunno, I’m just fucked up, man.”

Aoi and Junpei looked to each other, and Aoi didn’t need any Morphogenetic Field connection with Junpei to know they were both wondering if this was the result of what he’d been through with Free the Soul as a kid. They’d talked about it relatively often in the near month since they read that file, but neither could figure out a way to even approach the subject with Leone. To their mutual relief, at least, Leone didn’t seem to suspect their knowledge of the experiment.

“Well,” Aoi finally said, “That does sound pretty hard. I’ve never experienced that sort of thing myself. Maybe you should see a doctor or something about it.”

Leone chuckled softly, but it didn’t feel as though he was laughing at the suggestion. Instead, he reached up and rubbed his face. “You’re right. I should absolutely see a therapist or something. But you know why I don’t? Because I’m fucking scared. I’m absolutely terrified of the person I might be if I’m not this. And part of that too is being scared you guys won’t like me anymore, if I’m not who I am now.” He laughed a bit and let himself slump on the couch. “Fuck, I am pathetic. Why do you guys like me again?”

Junpei chuckled softly. “Because you make good food, you’re fun to be around, and you put up with me being an even bigger human disaster than you.”

Aoi and Leone both laughed before Aoi chimed in. “Yea. I wouldn’t say we’re best friends or anything, but you’re pretty cool. I mean really, who else can I go to the mall with to try on dresses? I’m sure as shit not doing that alone.”

“Wait, what?” Junpei looked between them both. “Seriously, what? When the hell have you two tried on dresses at the mall?  _ Why _ would you even do that?”

“To be fair, it was Lotus’s fault the first time. The second time I found something cute while putting applications at different stores and bugged Aoi to come check it out. I still have the dress I got while we were with Lotus. I debated taking it back when I learned I was unemployed, but I figured I could wait and figure out if I’d really need the money first. It wasn’t like it was very expensive, anyways.”

“Huh. Never thought you two would like wearing dresses.” Junpei looked between them again, smiling a bit.

Leone chuckled and elbowed him. “What’s with that dopey smile, huh?”

“Just… Happy you two are good friends. Especially after that stabbing comment you made,” he said, throwing Leone a pointed look.

Aoi shook his head. “You’re a dork. And I’ll admit, the stabbing comment was unnerving,” Even more so when it had been at first, thinking back on the Decision Experiment, “but it’s been fun. And exceptionally non-stabby.”

Leone laughed, a wheezy, hiccupy sound that Aoi had mistaken for hyperventilating the first time he heard it. He nearly dared to call it cute, now, in it’s own weird way. Kind of like the rest of him.

Junpei shook his head, smiling. “I’m glad you two are here. Probably would have gone crazy without you guys.”

“Junpei, you’re friends with me. You’re already crazy.”

Aoi shook his head. “Why do you say that? You’re not a bad person to be friends with, Leone.”

Leone paused, looking startled. His expression faltered into something Aoi couldn’t make out for a moment before he smiled again. “C’mon Aoi, it’s just a joke. I don’t mean it really. Honestly, what’s more crazy is that  _ this _ guy- You know what, never mind, that’s probably not a good joke to make.”

“Was it a sex joke. Please don’t, you’re terrible at sex jokes.” Junpei rubbed his neck.

Leone chuckled sheepishly. “Yea, it was, heh.”

Aoi shook his head. “You two are weird, but I’m glad I’m friends with you too.”

Leone grinned so wide Aoi thought his face might split. “Gosh, you’re such a dork, Aoi. I’m glad I’m friends with you too. You know, it’s kind of weird to think we probably never would have met if Junpei hadn’t taken that stupid bet.”

Junpei groaned. “Fuck, my face hurts just thinking about that.”

Aoi snickered. “Oh boy, I sense a story here. So wait, you guys had classes together right, but you didn’t actually talk to each other until your friends introduced you?”

Leone and Junpei glanced at each other and laughed for a few moments. “Well,” Junpei started, “that’s the nice way to put it, and we say that so we don’t have to tell the story every time. Really, it’s probably more accurate to say our friends set me up to get punched.”

“Hey, I made it up to you,” Leone said, a bit defensive, “And my friends knew exactly how it would go, so did yours, so it was pretty much on purpose.”

Junpei nodded. “I know, I know, I’m not blaming you.”

Aoi raised a brow. “So what happened?”

Junpei chuckled. “So I’m talking with my friends about my psychology class when my one friend is like ‘Hey, you know that guy from your classes you call Game Boy? Well I’ve been talking with his friends and apparently he’s like, super into you man, you should totally ask him out.’” He said, mimicking a deeper voice for his friend.

“Meanwhile,” Leone jumped in, “ _ My _ friends were like ‘Hey Leone you better watch out for that Tenny guy in your class, I know you think he’s super cute but I heard from his friends that he’s going to ask you out on a joke-”

“Wait, you thought I was cute?”

Leone rolled his eyes at the interruption. “Yes, of course I did, anyways, my friends gave me that warning and all and I didn’t really believe them at first but it’s not alike I had to do anything about it, if it wasn’t true nothing would change, but if it was, I told them I’d just punch the guy.”

“Oh boy, I think I know where this is going…” Aoi laughs a bit.

Junpei nods. “Yep. So eventually I do go put there like hey, he’s cute, I think I want to give him a chance too. So I go up to him after class one day-”

“And he’s all like ‘Hey, heard you might be interested, want to go see a movie?’-”

“And trust me, there is no terror quite like watching Leone go from smiling to incredibly pissed in less than a second. Next thing I knew, I was waking in the infirmary, because Leone had fucking knocked me out.”

Junpei and Leone broke down in laughter, and Aoi just watched, shaking his head. “You know, you two worry me sometimes…”   
Leone pulled off his glasses to wipe a tear from his eye. “Sorry, just- It’s kind of amazing how close we are now considering how we actually met. Also amazing you didn’t press charges on me.”

“Hey, I mean, you shouldn’t have punched me, but my friends were the dicks, not you.” Junpei elbowed him, grinning. “And you made it up to me, so we were even.”

Aoi smiled a bit. “Your friends were assholes.”

“Well, mine weren’t friends exactly,” Leone said with a shrug. “They were really just my roommates that wouldn’t leave me alone. Most of my friends were people I met online and stuff, and I stayed with one for a little while, but she ended up at a fancy art college.”

“Yea, and I ditched most of mine soon after I came back. They were kind of assholes, and they just kept pushing shit. I think most of them got expelled, didn’t they?”

Leone nodded. “Yea, the one guy kept skipping classes and I think the other two got arrested for something. I dunno. All I know is I got my roommates back for that too.”

Aoi grinned wider. “Oh? How’s that?”

Leone snickered. “I locked them out of the room when I brought guys home. Usually Junpei. Didn’t matter if we were actually doing anything or not.”

“Half the time we just ate pizza and played games, or studied.” Junpei shrugged. “Fuck buddies, except we were actually friends too, heh. Thinking about it, you should have seen Aoi in the game. He was pretty much  _ exactly _ your type.”

Aoi felt his face heat up and saw Leone’s do the same. Leone punched Junpei in the shoulder. “Oh shut up!”

Junpei winced. “What, it’s the truth! You would have been head over heels.”

Leone groaned. “That’s still embarrassing.” He winced when Aoi threw him a questioning look. “Apparently I have a type. I don’t know what it is, but Junpei knows it very well. And what’s even worse is that he’s usually right too, it’s infuriating.”

Junpei shrugged. “To be fair, you know mine too, for both guys and girls.”

“Yea, you’ve got very different tastes when to comes to guys and girls.”

Junpei nodded. “No kidding. And to be fair, you don’t always go with your type. I mean, it was you and me for a little while, right?”

Aoi just listened to them go back and forth about their sex lives, or at least, what had been their sex lives in college. He felt a flare of heat for a few moments, deep in his chest. He couldn’t deny he was a little jealous. He’d mostly missed out on that sort of thing, growing up, since all his focus had been on Akane. He didn’t resent her for it, it wasn’t her fault, but it did kind of suck. 

Junpei seemed to notice his silence and looked a bit guilty, cutting off his bickering with Leone. “Sorry, is this uh… Are you uncomfortable with this kind of talk?”

Aoi shook his head, laughing a bit. “No, just uh… I’m a virgin, so I don’t really get much of this.”

Leone blinked. “Really? Never would have guessed, though I can’t say I’ve thought about it.”

“Yea, just… Wasn’t too focused on it.”

Junpei nodded. “It’s not a big deal. You’re still young, we all are. It’s not that important anyways, you know?”

Aoi shrugged. “I’m not too worried about it. Mind if I use the bathroom?”

Junpei nodded. “Go ahead, you don’t have to ask, you know.”

“Yea yea, be right back.”

Aoi stood and brushed through Junpei’s room to reach the bathroom, snickering at the sight of a blanket half hanging out of the tub. Leone had been trying to get Junpei to actually sleep in his bed instead of the bathtub, but all he’d done is start to take a blanket with him, that he probably didn’t use due to it being sweltering hot most days.

Aoi washed his hands and was about to go back when he heard some hushed whispers in the living room, part of which was his name. He pressed against the wall by the door, hoping they hadn’t spotted him. He felt a little bad for eavesdropping, but curiosity and dread got the better of him.

“-can’t believe you’d say something like that!” Leone hissed quietly. “What’s the big idea?!”

“What?” Junpei whispered, “What did I do now?”

“Saying he’s just my type, that’s what you did! Come on, what the hell was that for?”

“Well it was the truth!”

“Junpei, I swear, if you’re trying to set us up-”

“And so what if I am? You two seem to like each other well enough, why not?”

“That isn’t the only reason and you know it. You’re just too stubborn to face the truth! You don’t have to tell him, or do anything about it, just at least be honest with yourself! You can’t even figure out how you feel because you won’t let yourself think about it for more than two seconds!”

“And what if I don’t want to?! You ever think about that, Leone? Because what if I…”

“What if you fell for him? What’d be wrong with that?”

“You  _ know _ what’s wrong.”

Leone let out a frustrated sigh. “Akane. It’s always her. Well you know what, I never met her, I don’t know much about her, but you know what I do know? I know you were kidnapped to play a twisted game with her. I know it was to save her and you failed. And I know that since you came back, you haven’t been the same.”

“If you don’t like it, why do you bother putting up with me?”

“I don’t care that you changed, you idiot. I care about you suddenly dropping out of college. I care about you suddenly joining a shady detective firm and drinking yourself into a stupor every night because of the things you’ve seen. I care about you becoming  _ obsessed  _ with finding Akane, in denial of what happened and hurting because you found the truth, and you found her brother, and you’re… You’re still hanging on.”

Aoi knew he shouldn’t be listening to this. Leone’s voice sounded simply broken, in a way Aoi had never heard before, but he couldn’t stop now. Going back to the bathroom would just leave him with the sound of his own head, and if he went out now, who knew what would happen? So he waited, and he kept listening.

Junpei sighed softly. “I… I still love her, Leone.”

“Did you ever think that maybe you don’t?” When Junpei didn’t respond, Leone pressed on. “Junpei, the last time you saw her, you were both twelve. Then she disappeared and you never saw her again, not until that day you woke up in that replica of that third class cabin and spent nine hours with her in a high pressure, seemingly life-or-death situation. I’m not trying to paint her as the bad guy here, because she’s not, she was trying to save herself, Aoi was trying to save her, but… Junpei, even if she truly was the way she acted then… You were together all of nine hours, and even most of that was spent apart because you went through different doors.”

“So what, are you trying to say I’m lying?”

“No, Junpei… I’m trying to say that you’re not in love with her… You’re in love with the idea of her, and it was destroying you. I’m sure she was a good person, just caught in bad circumstances… But you didn’t know her. You haven’t known her since you were twelve. Maybe you did love her when you were twelve, but it was been nine years, Junpei, nearly ten. You don’t have to tell Aoi anything you don’t want to. We can work this out together, like we always did before, like I’ve been trying to do with you still. Just… Aoi doesn’t deserve to have you trying to push me on him because you’re too afraid to question how you really feel.”

There was a few moments of silence, and Aoi wondered if one of them had simply left, before Junpei finally responded. “Fine. You’re… You’re probably right. Why are you usually right about these things?”

“I may be a human disaster, but I know you pretty well by now. And you know me too, after all.’

“Heh… Yea. Still think you two would make a cute couple, though,” Junpei teases.

“Oh my fuck, do not make me throw you out the window,” Leone whispered, but there was no heat to it, no real threat.

Aoi stepped quietly back to the bathroom, flushing the toilet again and washing his hands. He wasn’t sure how he was going to pretend everything was normal after hearing that.

Aoi wanted to scream, because in a way, he knew what Leone had said to Junpei at least somewhat applied to him too. He wasn’t sure his feelings for Junpei were strictly platonic either, but he had a much better reason as far as not wanting to think about it too much. His reason was also his sister, but unlike Junpei, he knew for certain that she’d loved him.

That made learning Junpei had loved her, at least in some capacity, even worse. He did his best to clear it from his mind, though. He could think about all of it later.

Finally, he walked back to the living room, smiling to the others. “Sorry that took so long.”

Junpei smiled back. “You better not have clogged my toilet or something.”

Aoi snorted. “No, shove off.” He dropped back onto his seat.

Leone looked at him strangely for a split second, so short that Aoi half wondered if he’d imagined it, before grinning. “Alright, alright, enough you two. I’m gonna head back to my place and get a shower, alright? I feel stickier than a licked marshmallow.”

“That is… Really gross, Leone,” Junpei said with a slight laugh.

Leone stuck his tongue out at Junpei like the mature twenty-something he was before heading out the door, a bounce in his step. Junpei shook his head.

Aoi smiled softly, picking up his papers again. Despite the confliction, he couldn’t find it in him to regret any of it. He couldn’t regret letting Junpei find him, he couldn’t regret getting drunk with him and following him home, meeting Leone in the morning. He couldn’t regret not running, not hiding.

Junpei raised a brow. “What’s with that look?”

Aoi was a little startled, but smiled and shook his head. “It’s stupid.”

“Say it anyways. Can’t be any worse than some of the stuff Leone has said.”

“Heh…” Aoi shook his head. “I’m just really happy you found me, so I could be friends with you two.”

Junpei looked surprised for a moment, then chuckled. “That’s not dumb. Just cheesy.”

“Yea yea, don’t you have a book to read?” Aoi asked.

“Don’t you have files to go through?” Junpei fired right back.

Aoi chuckled and curled up in the chair. Hot day of summer or not, platonic or not, he was glad to be friends with these two complete idiots.

* * *

 

When Junpei woke up, he wasn’t quite sure where he was. He knew he was in a bed, but he wasn’t sure it was his. Granted, he didn’t actually sleep in his bed, so he probably wouldn’t recognize it right away. He knew his apartment didn’t usually smell so sharply of vanilla, though.

Junpei slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes. The pounding headache was a good sign that he’d been drinking last night, even more heavily than usual, and he was in his boxers, but why? Everything was a fog. He’d gone to work, and then…

He looked around himself slowly. This was definitely not his apartment. Everything was neat and contemporary, black and white with splashes of an icy blue. It was all very sleek and modern, but somehow welcoming at the same time. It almost reminded him of something, though he couldn’t put his finger on what. Did he get drunk off his ass and go home with someone? That seemed likely, at this point. Man, Leone was going to have his ass for this one.

It was then that he noticed the sound of a shower running, and then someone singing. Junpei looked around again, finding a clock. It was nearly noon already, and Junpei had no idea where he was. Man, his head was pounding.

He slowly moved to the edge of the bed, letting his feet rest on the soft carpet. Whoever was singing in the shower, they had a good voice. If he had to take a guess, they were a guy, and their voice sounded familiar, too.

Junpei had no idea where his clothes were, unfortunately, so that meant walking out in his boxers. He decided to simply look for now, but immediately regretted it. He recognized this living room.

“Please tell me I didn’t have sex with Aoi.”

“Alright, you didn’t have sex with me..?” Junpei turned around quickly to see Aoi peeking out the bathroom, moving too fast and nearly falling over. His head was swimming with pain but he managed to make out Aoi, hair damp and torso bare as he leaned out of the bathroom doorway. He looked concerned. “Hey, you should probably lay back down, you were drinking a lot last night.”

Junpei stumbled back to sit on the bed, now able to see Aoi in full. He was holding a towel wrapped around his waist, and Junpei guessed he’d appreciate the sight more if his head wasn’t pounding and he wasn’t sure why he was here. “Where are my clothes?”

“I put them in the washer, because you spilled a lot of alcohol on them and also kind of barfed on yourself a bit.” Aoi bit his lip, looking more worried than Junpei had ever seen him. “Do you remember what happened last night?”

Junpei began to shake his head, then thought better of it. “No. I remember going to work and then… I don’t ever get blackout drunk. What the hell happened to me?”

Aoi sighed heavily. “Let me get dressed and go get your clothes from the washer, and some water and painkillers. Just lay back down, alright?”

“Alright.” Junpei did as he was told, grabbing his phone from where he saw it on the nightstand. Wincing as he flicked it on, he turned the brightness down and opened his texts. There were concerned messages from Leone and Seven, as well as his boss and a few coworkers. Apparently his boss had given him the next few days off, saying he’d need them. Leone and Seven wanted him to call them when he could, but he wasn’t sure he should yet, not until he figured out what was going on. 

It was when he got to his coworkers’ texts that he remembered.

One of the people he worked with, one he’d just had lunch with the previous day, Junpei watched them get pushed off a roof as he walked to go get lunch. He heard them scream as they fell, he heard them hit the ground and he saw their bloody, broken body. 

He lurched up and moved into the bathroom, shoving past Aoi, who was now wearing pants at least, and began vomiting into his toilet, or at least, his body tried to. What little came up was liquid and stomach acid, and after that he simply dry heaved. Aoi knelt beside him, gently rubbing his back and brushing his hair back from his face.

Eventually, Junpei sat back, taking the towel offered to him with a soft thanks. They sat there in silence for what seemed like hours before Junpei reached up and flushed the toilet. He watched the bile be washed away before speaking. “I think I know why I got as drunk as I did.”

“Alright. Here, take these, if you can. I’ll be right back with your clothes.” Aoi set a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers on the floor beside Junpei before standing and walking out of the room.

Junpei stared at the pill bottle blankly for a few moments, and in that moment in time, all he wanted to do was down the bottle. Overdosing would be an easy, painless way to go. The impulse was strong, almost overbearing, but he forced himself to fight it down. What was it that Leone had said? Find a reason, no matter how small. He’d miss Taco Tuesday if he killed himself now. That nice place downtown was having a deal on soft tacos and he promised to go with Leone and Aoi. He’d make Leone cry if he killed himself. Leone crying was never good. Junpei could stand Leone getting mad, he got mad all the time, but he couldn’t make Leone cry. Aoi didn’t deserve that either, he’d already been through enough without having to find Junpei dying on his bathroom floor.

Junpei’s mind flickered to the image of Clover’s body on the bathroom floor of the first class cabin, and he simultaneously wanted to kill himself even more and violently wanted to kick the pills far away from him. Instead, he carefully picked up the bottle and read the label before dumping the recommended two pills into his hand and closing the bottle again. He placed it as far away from him as he could without moving before swallowing the pills with some water.

Thankfully, it wasn’t long before Aoi returned, and Junpei stood, carefully pulling on his clothes. Aoi watched him carefully, putting the pill bottle back into the cabinet. “How are you feeling?”

Junpei sighed. “Like garbage. Do you know what happened? I just know… I know why I got drunk, I don’t know what happened after.”

Aoi gently tugged his arm, leading him back to the bedroom before pushing him down onto the bed. “You got thrown out of a few bars, and by time I found you, you were completely smashed. I could barely get the why out of you. I dragged you back to my place and… You slept.” Aoi looked away, rubbing his neck.

It was far too easy to tell that Aoi was leaving things out. “So we didn’t-?”

“No,” Aoi responded quickly, “we didn’t, you- You tried. But I couldn’t.”

Junpei forced a wry smile. “Good. I wouldn’t want your first time to be like that.”

“Heh… Yea.” Aoi forced a smile in return, biting his bottom lip. “You were a fucking mess. I’m surprised you woke up so soon. You want me to let the others know you’re alright?”

Junpei nodded slowly. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk to them yet, but thanks.”

“No problem. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” He smiled, a little awkward and a little pained but it made Junpei feel warm anyways.

Junpei laid back down, pulling the blanket over him as he let the warm smell of vanilla make him drift into a drowsy haze. He laid there for some time before the memories drifted back in, and the ice crawled into his veins.

_ “You smell nice,”  _ he’d said, _ “like vanilla.” _

He’d been laying with Aoi, face pressed into his neck as Aoi played with his hair.  _ “Well, I use vanilla body wash, so that’s probably why. I’m glad you like it.” _

_ “Heh… Hey Aoi,” _ he’d murmured,  _ “let’s have a little fun, huh? You’ve never fucked anyone before, but I can show you a good time…” _

Aoi had gone ridgid around him, and Junpei could only imagine how his face had looked, the shock and appal painting his features.  _ “No, I’m not doing that. You’re not in the right state of mind right now, I’m not going to take advantage of you like that.” _

There had been a soft period of silence before Junpei spoke again.  _ “Then kill me. Please, just… I’m so tired.” _

Aoi’s nails had dug into his back, making him wince.  _ “Why?” _

His speech had been slow and slurred, but he could remember the words perfectly.  _ “I’m so tired. I joined this agency to find her, and now that I know the truth… I’m just living day to day, doing whatever, it all feels so pointless. Maybe if I were dead, Leone wouldn’t have to worry anymore. He’d be able to concentrate on his writing and not taking care of me.” _

“ _ He’d be pretty upset if you died. He cares about you.” _

_ “He’d get over me.” _

Aoi had continued to pet his head.  _ “What about Seven, and Lotus, and me?” _

_ “Seven and Lotus can take care of each other. You and Leone, too. He likes you a lot. Never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you.” _

_ “Funny. I could say the same to you. Just go to sleep, Junpei.” _

Junpei had pressed closer, tears falling from his eyes.  _ “I don’t know what to do anymore. I threw everything away to find Akane. I don’t know what to do now.” _

Aoi had sighed softly, squeezing him softly.  _ “All my life, as far as I can remember, I’ve given everything I have for her. I don’t know what to do now, either. But I want to stay with you. You mean alot to me too.” _

Junpei sat up again, wiping the tears from his eyes. Part of him wished he could forget again, but instead, he stood, walking to the living room. Aoi looked up from some papers he’d spread out on the coffee table, but Junpei ignored them in favor of sitting on the couch beside Aoi and pulling him into a tight hug.

Aoi made a soft noise of confusion, slowly drawing his arms around Junpei’s waist. “Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m so sorry.” Junpei rested his head on Aoi’s shoulder. “What I said last night, I-”

Aoi cut him off. “No, don’t worry about it. You were drunk and miserable and hurting, and trust me, I get it.”

Junpei sighed. “It’s the truth, though.”

“I know. Like I said, I get it.”

He hated to think Aoi might be suicidal as well. “Leone once told me the way he got through these sorts of times was to have a reason. No matter how small. It’s how I resisted earlier.”

“Earlier?”

“The uh… The bottle of aspirin.”

“ _ Shit. _ Damnit, I’m sorry-”

“No, it’s okay.”

Aoi pursed his lips, reaching up to rub his back. “So what was your reason?”

Junpei couldn’t resist the laughter, soft and shaky but laughter all the same, that spilled from him. “Taco Tuesday. I promised to go with you and Leone.”

Aoi chuckled softly. “Whatever works. Whatever works…”

They sat like that for some time, and again Junpei breathed in the scent of vanilla. It was nice. Eventually, Junpei pulled away and smiled a little, shaking his head. “Thanks.”

“That’s what friends are for, right?” Aoi smiled back. It was an exhausted, worn-down smile, but still sweet and warm. Eventually, it faltered, and he rubbed his neck. “Something wrong? You’re kind of staring.”

Junpei coughed awkwardly. “No, it’s fine. Just… Vanilla and honey are really good, you know?”

Aoi laughed, somewhat amused and mostly confused. “Are you sure Leone’s weirdness isn’t rubbing off on you?”

Junpei shook his head. “Maybe. Or maybe it’s just the hangover talking.”

Aoi laughed and shook his head. “Let’s just hope your hangover isn’t the one talking when Leone gets his hands on you.”

Junpei groaned. “I am not looking forward to that conversation…”

“I do not blame you, Junpei, not at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is actually nearing the end, only one or two more chapters left, not sure exactly. In any case, thanks for reading, and please leave a comment, they give me life.


	5. Three Leaves and Subtleties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junpei and Aoi discuss plans, spend time with Leone, and question their lives, while Leone makes plans of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh that summary is shit. A lot happens in this chapter alright? And sorry it took so long to get this out, this month has been really rough for me, hopefully it won't take as long next time.

“Hey, Leone, cops said there’s a crazy dude in a mask in our neighborhood. Don’t get stabbed.”

“If he was naked that was me.” Leone’s voice was static and deadpan on speaker phone, making Junpei burst into laughter. “ _ Please _ tell me you are joking, I do not want to have to bring you clothes in jail.”

Leone chuckled. “It’s not, trust me. I’m like, on the other side of town, completely clothed. Don’t worry about it, alright? I’d be more worried about you, you look like just the guy to stab in a dark alley.”

“Should I be worried you’ve thought about that?”

“Nah, it’s mostly the fact that half the time you’ve got bags under your eyes that make you look like a fucking stoner.”

“And you’re like five feet tall.”

“Fuck you, I am five foot two.”

Seven rolled his eyes. “Junpei, can you please focus?”

“Sorry, sorry. Hey Leone, I got something for you. You know about Greek Mythos, right?”

“Yea, somewhat, I can give a crash course if needed. Why?”

“We found some files and shit with a lot of Greek Myth names for codes, we’re thinking the stories behind them might help out with figuring what’s going on.”

“Alright, let’s see here…” Junpei snatched a few papers from Seven’s hands, laying them out on the table in neat lines. “We’ve got Zeus, probably the head honcho looks like.”

“Probably. Zeus was basically king of the gods, though he couldn’t keep it in his pants. Basically, if something has gone wrong in a major Greek story, 90% of the time it’s because Zeus couldn’t keep it in his pants.”

Junpei and Seven both snorted. “Probably just head honcho this time,” Seven said, “How about Hermes?”

“Messenger,” Leone chirped, “If we’re talking illegal bad guy stuff, he’s probably some sort of runner, keeping communications going between different people, stuff like that. Take him down, you’ll probably severely damage whatever method of communications they’re using.”

“Makes sense. The other major player seems to be coded Hades,” Junpei said, picking up the last sheet. “There’s some other major names I recognize in here, but as far as our real life group goes, those seem to be the three major players.”

“Hm… It really depends on how well they know their mythos. Either way, you might want to avoid that guy until you take down his support system. Then again, going after any of them period might piss that one off. Is there a Persephone?”

Junpei looked through the sheets, raising a brow. “No, no Persephone.”

“Damn, she’s my favorite. That all you need, man?”

“Yea, that’s it.”

“You’re coming to Taco Tuesday tonight, right?”

Junpei rolled his eyes. “Yea yea, I’m coming, don’t worry.”

“Alright, see ya Junpei, see ya Seven!” Before Junpei or Seven could respond, Leone hung up.

Seven shook his head, looking to Junpei. “Taco Tuesday?”

Junpei chuckled. “It’s a special a local restaurant has. Leone, Aoi, and I are going over tonight.”

Seven nodded. “Alright. You seem to be holding up alright, after… Y’know.”

Junpei grimaced. “Yea. I mean… I think most of it was shock. I didn’t really know the guy, it was just shocking and stuff, I think. Mostly I try not to think about it.”

Seven nodded and clapped a hand on his back. “Well… You  _ do _ seem to be doing a lot better. I’m glad.”

Junpei smiled a bit. “Yea. I’ve been feeling better lately, too. Kinda feels like things are going to be alright.”

“Seems like since Aoi came around, you’ve been doing better.” Seven raised a brow. “There something you want to talk about, there?”

For a moment, Junpei wanted to simply brush it off and move on, but there was something giddy, like he was riding some kind of high. “Hey Seven… Is there anything that reminds you of Lotus?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean... “ Junpei leaned back, sighing. “Honey and vanilla. Whenever I smell them, or taste them, I think of… Well,  _ them _ .”

“Leone and Aoi?”

“Yea.” He smiled. “It’s… It’s not perfect. Leone’s got his temper and Aoi’s walking on eggshells to avoid setting  _ himself _ off, and I’m an alcoholic that’s obsessed with the girl he only really knew as a kid, but honey and vanilla, they feel like home, I guess. Like maybe things will be okay after all.”

Seven laughed softly. “You’re head over heels.”

“Maybe. I dunno if I’d say I’m in love with them, romantically, platonically, I don’t know. I just know we work together. Leone’s been doing better, I’ve been doing better. Even through finding out about the Decision Experiment and the first Nonary game and everything else, we’ve been doing better, and I think Aoi is too, if how I found him was anything to go by.”

Seven chuckled. “Flowers, for me. Pretty much any kind of flower, they make me think of Lotus.”

“And you say I’m head over heels.”

Seven rolled his eyes. “Maybe you are. I definitely am. I wonder if they associate you with anything like you associate them with honey and vanilla. Why those things, anyways?”

“Honey is probably the more obvious one, because Leone makes us eggs and honey on toast nearly every day. Aoi’s is because…”Junpei reached up, rubbing his neck. “That day, when I woke up, everything smelled like vanilla. He’d lit a candle, but even before that… That night when we were laying together, he smelled like it too. I think it’s his body wash. Point is, I like it, it suits him.”

“I guess you’d know more about it than me. I’m glad you’re doing better, though.” Seven reached over and pat him on the back.

Junpei smiled. “Thanks. Me too.”

* * *

 

Junpei and Leone looked at each other in confusion, looked at Aoi, then back to each other. Both seemed baffled by the food sitting on their friend’s plate.

Aoi pursed his lips. “What? It looked weird, and I wanted to try it.”

“I know, but… Spaghetti Tacos? Who even thinks of that sort of thing?” Junpei put his chin in his hand, confusion evident.

Aoi shrugged. “Apparently it was a thing in an old kids’ sitcom or something, I dunno. Point is, it looked weird and I wanted to try it.”

“Huh, I kind of want to try it now.” Leone grinned, looking over the menu again.

Junpei stared at him. “Seriously?”

“What? I’ll try just about anything once. Don’t worry about it, I’ll just get something else if I don’t want it.”

Aoi chuckled. “Your guys’ fault for being late. You went on and on about Taco Tuesday and dragging me along, then show up late.”

Leone giggles. “Sorry, my fault. I got my hand stuck in the wall.”

“You got your hand… stuck in the wall.” Aoi wasn’t sure he could sound more incredulous if he tried. “How?”

Junpei groaned. “He got pissed about something, I don’t even remember what, and punched a wall. There’s a hole in the wall now. Both of our walls.”

Aoi snickered. “Well, at least you can yell through the hole when ordering pizza now?”

“Heh, that’s one way to look at it,” Leone said, elbowing Junpei. “C’mon, let’s try the spaghetti tacos, Junpei!”

Junpei groaned. “Fine, but if they make us sick, I’m blaming you for this.”

Aoi chuckled, shaking his head. The restaurant was noisy with families doing the same as them and enjoying the special deal on Tacos the owner promoted. It was decorated in warm reds and yellows and there were children shouting and laughing and parents attempting to shush them and friends joking and couples being sappy and it all felt so real. In front of him, Junpei and Leone were bickering and teasing and smiling and laughing.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Leone turning to him again. “Something on your mind? You’re looking kind of out of it.”

Junpei turned to him as well at that, curious and concerned. “Yea, I mean, you’re smiling, but it’s kind of spacey.”

Aoi chuckled. “I guess I’m just feeling… alive.”

Leone laughed. “I know that feeling, man. Right here, it’s just good. Feels right, you know?”

Junpei shook his head. “Honestly, when you two start getting philosophical and whatever, I tend to tune you out.”

Aoi and Leone laughed, and it felt good. Aoi felt good.

* * *

 

Aoi placed the files between them, leaning on his knees. “It’s all here, at least, all she left. I don’t understand this, any of it, talking about an AB Game and something called Radical-6, I’ve tried looking into it but there’s no information about it, at least, as far as I or Crash Keys could get.”

Junpei nodded. “Same here. Whatever it is, maybe it doesn’t exist yet, or hasn’t been introduced to the world, but it seems she was worried about it, though there’s no telling why. We can’t even tell what it does from just the name.”

Aoi nodded. “All we know is apparently it’s going to be released from this Nevada Test Site. I’ve already got people looking into it. Apparently it’s something to do with tests for space travel, though that’s all we have for now.”

“A test, then?” Junpei crossed his arms, seeming lost in thought. “It might be best to just infiltrate it, then, see if we can stop it from the inside.”

Aoi pursed his lips. “There’s no way I’d let you do that-”

“I didn’t say I was going to, it’s just an idea. Besides, I can handle myself,” Junpei said, cutting him off.

Aoi raised a hand. “Junpei, you didn’t let me finish. There’s no way I’d let you do that  _ alone _ . If you went, I’d go with you.”

Junpei’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Are you sure about that? It could be pretty dangerous. And the only thing you’ve done like it is, well, the Nonary Game, and you were running that.”

Aoi nodded. “If this was that important to my sister, I’ll do it, especially if you’re going.”

Junpei pursed his lips. It was painfully obvious that he wasn’t happy with this, but he didn’t argue anymore. “Alright. It’s still only an ‘if’ after all. But that leaves Leone…”

Aoi bit his lip, rubbing his neck. Leone presented an entirely new problem. “Do you think he’d be okay with it? I don’t really think bringing him would be a great idea, not unless we talk to him about…” He trailed off, feeling uneasy just saying it.

Junpei nodded. “Yea, and I don’t even know how to approach that. I think he’ll be more willing to accept it if we’re going together, having each other’s backs and all.”

Aoi sighed. “He should at least know that we know about the Experiment. We don’t have to talk about it, just let him know we read the file.”

“Yea, you’re right. At least wait a bit, though. His birthday is in a few days, and we don’t do much for it, but I’d rather not have those memories fucked up with all this.”

“His birthday is soon? Why didn’t you guys tell me?”

Junpei shrugged, looking a bit guilty. “We don’t usually do much for it. Just hang out and binge watch movies or a particular show.”

Aoi smiled slightly. “C’mon, he’s my friend too, after all. Anything he wanted for a gift?”

Junpei leaned back, crossing his arms. “Well, I got him a couple 3D puzzles. I know there’s some books he’s been looking for, if you wanted to get him one or two.”

Aoi nodded. “Good. This is probably going to sound kind of pathetic, but I’ve never really had close friends before. It’s nice, to be able to do shit like this.”

“Heh, don’t tell Leone that. He’ll totally go all out for your birthday, or at least, he’ll do what he can. For now, let’s just focus on this, alright?” Junpei reached down, pulling up some of the papers. “Maybe it’s shitty, but part of me is relieved that you’re almost as in the dark about this as I am.”

“You’re right, that is shitty.” Aoi snorted as Junpei glared at him. “What? I mean I get it, not feeling like you’re the only one lost, but it would really be a lot more helpful if she’d told me about all this.”

“Yea. As it is, we’re going in blind…” Junpei groaned. “What the hell does a space experiment have to do with this Radical-6 or an AB Game? Are they even connected at all? It’s all so stupid because we have no information.”

Aoi pursed his lips. He knew there was one person they could ask, one person who they knew had a connection to this. “We could ask Leone, but I feel like it could be like tripping a landmine.”

“Yea, no kidding. And there’s no guarantee he actually knows anything in the first place. Honestly, it’s probably more likely he knows nothing about it.” Junpei sighed heavily. “Let’s just… Put it aside, for now. It’s only July, and this thing is apparently at the end of December.”

Aoi nodded. “Yea. We’ll figure something out, get some sort of background on this thing.”

* * *

 

Junpei was snoring on the couch, the light of the TV filling the darkened living room of Leone’s apartment. Aoi was halfway to nodding off himself as Leone stood to put on another movie. He watched the other crouch down by the DVD player, retrieving their previous movie and putting another in, his long, red hair cascading down his back, dark against the brightness of his red jacket.

“Hey Leone,” Aoi called softly, not wanting to wake Junpei, “Why do you always wear that jacket? Even when we try on clothes, you wear that thing. Is it special?”

Leone looked back over his shoulder, although Aoi couldn’t make out his expression. The darkness of the room and the light of the TV reflecting off his glasses made his expression unreadable. For a few moments, he simply sat in front of the TV and didn’t answer. Then he stood and returned to the couch, sitting beside Aoi once more.

Aoi rubbed his neck. “You don’t have to answer, I was just curious.” He wasn’t very tired anymore.

“No, it’s alright. I’ve been meaning to talk about it, ever since Junpei came home that day.” Leone yawned softly, reaching up to cover his mouth. “He read the file on the experiment, didn’t he?”

Aoi bit his lip. “Yea. We looked at the file, we had to know. We were going to talk to you about it, but how do you even approach a subject like that?”

Leone chuckled. “Yea? So you don’t hate me? I mean… I assume the file went over what happened, what I did.”

“You were a kid, Leone. You were a scared kid and he made you do these horrible things,” Aoi said, tone serious. “All that stuff? It just makes the fact that you’ve so passionate today even more amazing.”

Leone looked surprised for a moment, then he laughed softly. “Aren’t you the charmer?”

Aoi lightly elbowed him. “I’m being serious.” Still, he was smiling in spite of himself.

“I know, I know.” Leone took a deep breath. “That Experiment… It was a living nightmare. And to this day, I’m terrified. I’m terrified Brother will decide he needs me for something.”

Aoi sighed. “I can’t blame you. It’ll be alright, though. You’ve got Junpei and I, and if he tries to use you again, we’ll be there.”

“You won’t be able to protect me, Aoi, not from him.”

Aoi’s fingers dug into his knees, and he pushed away the sick feeling crawling in his gut. “I know. But that doesn’t mean we can’t help you.”

Leone chuckled. “When this is over… I’ll finally feel free. I can’t wait for that, whether it’s six months from now, or fifty years.”

Aoi raised a brow. Those seemed like oddly specific times. He brushed it off, though. It was probably just Leone being Leone. “Whenever it is, we’ll all be happy. This guy has made our lives hell. We’ll make him pay.”

Leone chuckled. “Yea, or die trying. Do you want to see my tattoos? I’ve got my last session tomorrow, then it’ll be done.”

Aoi shook his head. “I’ll wait and see the finished product. Bet it’ll look fantastic. I’m not sure what the tattoos have to do with the experiment, though.”

“Big Brother marked my skin. I don’t know why. He just did. He made a pattern of three-leaf clovers across my shoulders. But that’s  _ his _ mark. I decided to make it my own, and turn it into a masterpiece of my own making. Or, well, my own design, with help from an actual tattoo artist of course.” Leone smiled softly, leaning forward to grab the remote.

Aoi paused in surprise. “Three-leaf clovers? Why?”

Leone shrugged. “No idea. Figured it was some dumb thing he liked or whatever.” He seemed nonchalant about it. “I’ve questioned it a lot, but it’s not like I have answers.”

Aoi pursed his lips as Leone turned on the next movie. He didn’t like this at all, and the three-leaf clovers couldn’t be a coincidence. Brother had chosen that deliberately, although Aoi couldn’t even begin to guess at why. Any way he thought of it, though, he didn’t like it one bit.

* * *

 

Aoi wasn’t surprised to find a bottle of beer in Junpei’s hand when he came over. The look on his face was rather intriguing, however. He appeared incredibly absorbed in his thoughts, confusion clouding his eyes, and Aoi could tell he wasn’t really seeing the coffee table in front of him. “Something on your mind?”

Junpei jumped, obviously startled, before biting his lip. “Yea. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want, but… Akane. She died nine and a half years ago, and the whole Schrodinger's Cat thing… But your memories of her are still intact?”

Aoi winced at the dull pain in his chest. It would never be easy to think about it, but it was better than it once was. “Well… They’re very… Fuzzy, I guess? Like I remember them in the way you remember something you did while half asleep, and there’s a lot of like, double vision. I remember growing up taking care of Akane, but I also remember growing up alone and only taking care of myself after the first Nonary Game. It’s strange.”

Junpei nodded. “It kind of makes sense, though.” He placed his beer on the table, reaching up to rub his face.

Aoi sat beside him. “Why do you ask? Is something wrong?”

Junpei pursed his lips. “I’m not sure. Maybe I’m just imagining things but… Leone showed me his tattoos. He said he’s been getting the art done since he was eighteen.”

“Yea? I guess that’d be the start when he’d actually be allowed to get them at most places without parental permission. So what?”

“So I’m not sure if I remember most of them being there before.”

Aoi pursed his lips. “Maybe you just didn’t pay as much attention?”

Junpei shrugged. “Maybe, but at the same time, that’s usually something you notice, right?”

“Yea, I guess so.”

Junpei picked up his beer again, taking a long swig. “It’s probably nothing,” he said once he’d emptied the bottle, “but at the same time, it could be something. You never really know, I guess. Doesn’t help that it’s Leone, and I’m kind of realizing maybe I don’t know him as well as I thought I did.” His displeasure was written all over his face.

Aoi shook his head. “No, you still know him well, Junpei. You’re just learning more. It doesn’t make what you already knew any less true, I’d say. I mean look, he knows we know, and he’s not acting any different, at least, not as far as I can tell. He’s still the same guy who hauls you up in the morning and makes you food and laughs at the dumb jokes I send him and tries on dresses with me when we go shopping sometimes.”

Junpei nodded. “Yea, you’re right. You’re right a lot, and I kinda hate it,” he added with a chuckle. 

“Yea? Why’s that?”

Junpei shrugged, leaning his shoulder against Aoi’s a bit. “Well, kinda feels like I’m stupid, or I’m not really helping with things. And I  _ know _ that’s not true, but it’s how it feels sometimes.”

Aoi rested his head on  Junpei’s, and they simply sat in the quiet for a bit. It was peaceful and comforting, and Junpei’s hair smelled vaguely of cherries. Aoi found he liked it a lot. He had an impulse to kiss him, sudden but strong, and he tried to shove it away. That was definitely not appropriate, not good, he needed to  _ not _ think about kissing Junpei and wrapping his arms around his shoulders and Junpei’s hands on his waist and-  _ That’s not helping, Aoi, you complete dumbass _ , he berated himself internally.

He was such a sap. Aoi had always pushed aside crushes he had since he had other, better things to concentrate on, like saving his sister. Now, there really wasn’t much to concentrate on aside from the strange events revolving around Junpei and Leone. Aoi paused as a thought occurred to him, and he hesitated for a moment before voicing it. “Hey, Junpei, I was just thinking… We’ve both been learning a lot about Leone, and you know about my past, but what about you? I’ve heard a few stories from my sister from when you were in school together, but that’s it.”

Junpei sighed softly. “Well, I wasn’t exactly an interesting kid. I went to school, I didn’t get into much trouble, I got decent grades and had a few friends I hung out with. I acted like an idiot trying to impress Akane,” he added with a chuckle. “I went to college and changed my major at least five times just like anyone else.”

Aoi smiled, but then his face fell. “And then the Nonary Game happened.”

Junpei took a deep breath. “Yea. After that, I tried to keep going about things normally, but I couldn’t. I was losing sleep, I was thinking about it nonstop. So I quit college and found a detective firm that was on the shadier side. And I’ve seen things, horrible things that haunt my dreams. It’s why I slept in the tub, because most days it was the only way I could get the smell of blood off me.”

“I’m sorry, I-”

“No,” Junpei cut him off, “It’s not your fault. I did what I felt I had to. I’d get out, but I don’t think I could at this point. People have seen my face, they could still hunt me down, and if I left, they wouldn’t be able to warn me as well, and I wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on things myself.”

Aoi bit his lip. “Well… You could join me.”

Junpei pulled his head from Aoi’s shoulder, looking to him in confusion. “What?”

“You could join me at Crash Keys. We’re mostly passive since the Nonary Game, and it’s not the same, but, well, we’re going to be working together for this Mars site thing, right?”

“Yea, I guess that’s fair.” A smile creeped onto Junpei’s face, tentative but happy. “I’ll have to think about it.”

* * *

 

“I’m going to kill them both.”

Seven poured a cup of tea and sat at the other side of the table, eyes running over Leone’s slouched form. “What’d they do now?”

“Aoi offered for Junpei to join Crash Keys. Junpei told me he was thinking about it but I don’t know who he’s kidding, because we both know he’s going to do it, and just… I should have tossed Aoi out the moment I saw him.” Leone sat up, looking exhausted. “But I didn’t, because I’m a fucking sap.”

Seven leaned back in his chair. “I would’ve thought it was a good thing, but I’m guessing there’s more to it.”

“It’s just- They’re going to get hurt. Junpei’s going to get hurt. And I can’t even stop it. I hate this, I hate all of it. I want to go back, back before the Nonary Game, back when I punched his lights out and we laughed about it and he learned my name and- DAMNIT!” Leone pounded his fists on the table, choking down a sob.

Seven really wasn’t sure what to make of this. He’d been just sitting at home, minding his own business, when Leone had come knocking at his door. Now they were both sitting in his dusty apartment and he felt bad for not cleaning it, not feeling the need to since he spent most days with Lotus.

Leone took a deep breath, sitting up again. “Sorry, that’s- It’s not why I came here.”

Seven shook his head. “No, it’s alright. Why are you here? You need something?”

Leone nodded. “This December, Aoi and Junpei need to go to the Mars Test Project whatever. I don’t know what’s going to happen there. All I know is Brother is involved.”

“What? Then why don’t we stop this Project thing?”

“We can’t. No matter what we do, it will happen. It has to. And you need to be there when it’s over. For better or for worse. It’s… It’s going to be like the Nonary Game. There will be major split timelines that will affect everything, and have world-threatening repercussions if and when things go wrong.” Leone rubbed his face. “Whether they come out of this, what happens, we can’t do a damn thing.”

“Whether they come out of this?” Seven gripped his cup. “Leone, this is-”

Leone glared at him, and Seven felt he might burst into flame just from those sharp green eyes. “Trust me, I  _ know _ . Most timelines, they won’t make it out alive, or only Aoi will. I don’t like this. I hate it, I hate it a lot. But it is what it is. We can do what we need to when it’s over.”

“Then how do we play into this? If you don’t know what will happen inside.”

Leone took a deep breath, tugging at his jacket. “I need to disappear. And you need to be there to make sure whoever comes out of that base recovers, make sure they get away.”

Seven’s eyes narrowed. “Why do you need to disappear?”

Tears formed in the corners of Leone’s eyes. “Because they need to go. They need a reason, and I can’t give that to them, not without revealing more than they can know. Junpei… Junpei will want to find me, hopefully.”

Seven sighed. “Alright. So you need my help to disappear.”

“Yes. I’m sorry to ask this of you, Seven, but you’re the only one I can trust.” He sniffed, tears burning in the corners of his eyes. “I need to disappear, and Junpei and Aoi can’t find me. I’ll be in hiding, then Brother will find me, and Junpei and Aoi get word about me being at the test site. Pass the info along if you need to.” Leone took a deep breath. “With any luck, they’ll be alright.”

“Alright. When does it need to happen?”

“August twenty-fifth work for you?”

Seven nodded. “Yea, that’s fine. Question is, are  _ you _ going to be alright?”

Leone laughed, bitter and harsh. “I haven’t been ‘fine’ in over ten years. I’ve wanted to die every damn day of my life. I’ll survive, though. As long as one of them comes back.”

Seven could read between the lines. If Aoi or Junpei didn’t come back, neither would Leone, and there wasn’t a damn thing Seven would be able to say to change that. He’d never been able to call his life his own, not from the day he was born, because of Brother and Free the Soul.

“Just keep me in the loop,” Seven told him, “that’s all you need to do.”

“Thank you. I know I’m asking a lot.” Leone leaned back in his chair. “I know you read the file too. That’s why you gave it to Junpei.”

“He told you he read the file?”

“He didn’t have to. I swore I never would, but I had to, I had to know why he was… It doesn’t matter now,” Leone said.

Seven had no idea what he meant, but there was likely no getting it out of him either. Instead, he began making a mental list of what he’d need to do for Leone’s request. This was going to tear Junpei apart, and the guilt was already pooling in his stomach.

* * *

 

“Wow, he’s uh… He’s still going?”

Junpei chuckled, taking a long swig of his beer. “Yep. You really did it this time.”

Aoi rubbed his neck, glancing to where Leone was pacing back and forth across the room and talking quite loudly, ranting about something to do with writing. Aoi had said something about writing and writers having characters that are self-inserts, and apparently that had set Leone off in some way, and now he was pissed off.

Aoi leaned towards Junpei. “How long do you think this will go on for?”

“He’ll burn out soon enough. Don’t worry about it too much.” Junpei gave him an amused smile before looking to Leone again. “Hey Leone, you should really take some anger management classes.”

Leone turned on Junpei with fire in his eyes. “I will take a fucking anger management class when you go to a damn AA meeting!”

Junpei pursed his lips, shrugging. “Touche.”

Leone took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry, I’m just…”

“You’re a writer, makes sense you get pissed about stuff you feel is unfair to them. Seriously though, anger management would probably be good,” Junpei offered, placing his empty beer bottle on the table.

Aoi nodded. “Yea, exploding like that, it can’t be healthy.”

Leone sighed and dropped heavily onto the couch. “Probably not. But it makes me feel better when it happens.”

“Better than bottling it up, I guess.”

Leone nodded. “Yea, it’s- I’m stressed right now. It really has nothing to do with writing, though I’ve been struggling with it lately, it’s more of… Well, I’m worried about you two.” Leone turned, looking at both of them. “You’re going to be going on this secret mission and whatever, and Junpei, I worry but you’ve gotten through plenty of bad before, but Aoi…”

Aoi sighed. “Worst I’ve done is the Nonary Game, and we were in control of that. You’ve got a point.”

Junpei sat up straighter, frowning. “Hey, I can still protect him, you know.”

Leone glanced at him. “I know you can. But you can’t always be there by his side, constantly. So just take this, please? Just in case?” He pulled a bundle from his pocket, slowly unwrapping it.

Aoi looked over the object in his hands. If he remembered his knives correctly, this was a butterfly knife, the handles a metallic green with three- and four-leaf clovers etched into the metal. “Whoa… This is… Just for self defense, right?”

Leone smiled a bit. “That’s the idea. This knife has gotten me through a lot. With any luck, you won’t need to use it, but just in case.”

“He won’t,” Junpei said stubbornly. “I’m going to be there, and I’ll keep him safe. I have to.”

Aoi slowly looked back to Junpei, raising a brow. “Are… you okay? Not really used to you being so protective.” He couldn’t deny the warmth slowly flooding his chest, and he glanced back to Leone. “You too, actually. What’s with you two?”

Leone sighed. “I’m sorry. I want to come with you, to this weird Mars Project thing, but let’s face it, I’d probably get in the way. I don’t have the experience with detective work and whatever you two have done.”

Junpei frowned. “Hey, we haven’t decided to go yet. All we’ve got is a few files mentioning it, we’ve got no idea what it means or why it’s important. You’re not getting rid of us that easily.”

“I know.” Leone sighed softly, leaning back on the couch. “I’m just scared. I’ve spent my entire life fighting off violent suicidal urges. You guys… You’re so good. Junpei, you say you’re broken after what you’ve seen, but even through your worst nights, you’re still my best friend. You’re still someone who sees the good in the world, sees the good in me even when I don’t see it myself.”

Aoi smiled slowly, chuckling as he turned to Junpei. “You know, he’s right. When you found me, the first thing you said to me, the first thing you asked was if Akane was really gone. And hearing what happened, finding the truth, you never blamed me. Not even the night you got blackout drunk.”

Junpei pursed his lips, looking aside. “Damnit, you two.” He took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears. “I hate you both, you fucking saps. You’re so cheesy!”

Aoi chuckles, leaning back in the seat and running his fingers over the etchings in the metal of the knife. “Leone started it.”

“Damn right I did. And I will not stop, never.” Leone grinned, moving closer until he was tucked against Aoi’s side and legs nearly on his lap. “You know why? ‘Cause you two are the most important people in my life, you fucking nerds.”

Junpei laughed, scooting over to lean his head on Aoi’s shoulder. It wasn’t the most comfortable position in the world, with both Junpei and Leone leaning on him, but it was pleasant all the same. For the first time in forever, Aoi felt truly at peace.

“If I fell asleep here, would that be weird?” Aoi rested his head on top of Junpei’s, yawning softly. 

Leone chuckled. “Nah, it'll be totally cool. I kinda want to fall asleep too.”

“Our backs are going to hurt like hell after this,” Junpei griped, but he stayed where he was.

Aoi chuckled and closed his eyes. It wouldn’t hurt to take a nap, now would it?

* * *

 

When he woke, the left side of his body, the side Leone had been laying on, was cold. Aoi carefully got out from under Junpei, who was just stirring himself. Aoi stood and stretched, glancing around. There was no smell coming from the kitchen, so Leone wasn’t cooking. Aoi ducked into Junpei’s bedroom, then bathroom. Not there either.

Aoi trailed back into the living room. “Junpei? Did you see Leone go?”

Junpei yawned softly, sitting up. “No, why?”

Aoi swallowed. “I don’t know. When I woke, he was gone, and I’ve just got a really bad feeling.”

Junpei carefully stood. “Try his apartment, maybe you inspired him after his rant. Could be writing.”

Aoi nodded. “You’re right, you’re right, I’m just… paranoid.” He stepped out the door and glanced down the hall. There was a certain chill in the air, the kind he knew only he could feel, and he hated it. He turned and went to Leone’s door and went to knock, but it was already open, and the feeling of dread only deepened. He opened the door and slid the knife out of his pocket, flipping it open.

The apartment was dark and impersonal as always. To tell the truth, he never liked Leone’s apartment. It always felt so dark and so impersonal, as if someone didn’t actually live there. The bedroom was better, with a punching bag in the corner and a large bed with a mess of blankets. He couldn’t help but smile slightly at the sight, thinking it looked more like a nest than a bed.

The small smile didn’t last. Leone wasn’t in his bedroom, or in his bathroom, or his kitchen. In the kitchen, however, was a calendar. There wasn’t much on it, the days were struck off and there were a few notes for meetings and appointments here and there.

But then, Aoi spotted it. On August 25th, there was a small drawing of a 3-leaf clover.

Aoi never knew a couple curved lines of black sharpie could chill him to the bone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you leave a comment! And if you're not already, you can head over to SimonSaysAStory on Tumblr to follow me for fic updates, progress reports, and sneak peeks at upcoming fics!


	6. End and Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junpei and Aoi close this chapter of their lives with more questions than answers, about themselves, their relationships, and their missing friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahah you remember when I said hopefully this chapter won't take long. Do you remember when I said that. Hahahahahahaha -cries-  
> Overall, this chapter was hell to write. I wanted to do a lot more than I ended up doing and all in all it was frustrating to say the least. HOPEFULLY the next part will be better to write, but I'll discuss that more after the chapter.  
> I hope you enjoy, and have a Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate it.

Aoi felt horrible, going through Leone’s things like this. It was an invasion of privacy. But the need to know was stronger, and so he searched.

There was nothing to look for in Leone’s living room. It was cold and almost sterile, in a way, just a couch and a table with some coasters, obviously unused. He never really spent time in there, it seemed, aside from the times Junpei and Aoi came over.

His room was far more of a mess. There was a mattress on the floor which was covered in blankets and pillows and stuffed animals. That was cute. He could easily imagine Leone curled up in the pile, red hair a mess across the pillows and a peaceful expression on his sleeping face. Aoi shook his head to snap himself out of it and kept looking.

The dresser was filled with clothes as normal, nothing hidden in the fabric or any sort of secret compartment. There was nothing in the closet apart from a few dresses on hangers and a spare pair of tennis shoes on the floor. It took a moment, but Aoi noticed that the dress Leone had bought when he was out with Aoi and Lotus was gone. Strange.

There was nothing in the bathroom. No soaps, hair brushes, or even a toothbrush, nothing but some towels and washcloths in the cabinet below the sink. The dread in Aoi’s gut deepened, and he walked back into the kitchen.

Junpei was there, but he didn’t seem to be searching for anything. He was simply leaning against the counter, a glazed look in his eyes.

Aoi stepped forward, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. “Junpei… There were no signs of a struggle, and his toiletries are missing, along with that dress he bought… I don’t know if any other clothes are missing, he was probably wearing his jacket at the time.”

Junpei’s gaze slid to Aoi, resigned. “... He left voluntarily. It’s possible that he was held at gunpoint or something, but this is Leone. He would have fought, we would have known.”

Aoi didn’t want to admit it to himself, but Junpei simply saying it felt like a stab to the gut. “But why? Why would he just leave? If he was in trouble, wouldn’t he tell us?”

Junpei folded his arms. “There has to be a reason, there’s- He wouldn’t do something like this without a reason.”

Aoi leaned in, laying his head on Junpei’s shoulder. “We’ll figure it out. If he’s in this much trouble, that he felt he couldn’t reach out to us… He needs our help.”

Junpei nodded with a slight smile. “Hey, I found you, didn’t I? I’ll reach out to my contacts, see if they know anything. And if Brother is the one behind this… Me blowing up his headquarters will be the least of his concerns.” His voice lowered into a growl.

Something about the tone warmed Aoi in a way he couldn’t place. Junpei was angry and worried and it was all out of care for his best friend. “We’ll find him,” he said, moving in front of Junpei, “but we’re not going to find anything more here. You should call Seven, and I’ll call Lotus before contacting Crash Keys. You’re not the only one with connections.”

Junpei smiled slightly and took Aoi’s hand, leading him out the door. Aoi took one last glance at the calendar, at the three-leaf clover doodled on the current day, and shut the door.

* * *

 

It felt strange, actually directing Crash Keys again. He’d had them looking into some things before about Free the Soul and some stray information left in his sister’s files, but now he threw himself into his work, actively trying to find more information. No one knew anything about Radical-6 or this AB game, and after a week there was still no word on Leone. It seemed he’d drawn what little money he had in the bank out before disappearing off the map completely. His rent was paid forward for the next year, which did at least tell Aoi that he likely planned to return within that time, although more likely near the end of it. If it came to that, they’d get answers out of him then, but Aoi much prefered finding Leone himself, or Junpei finding him.

Junpei, from last he told Aoi, hadn’t gotten any word from his contacts either.

When he allowed himself a pause in his paperwork, Aoi was overcome with guilt. Had he not promised Leone a few weeks prior that he and Junpei would stay by his side, that they’d do their best against Brother and protect him? And now he was gone, and Aoi would eat his own shoes if Brother didn’t have anything to do with it. He knew it wasn’t his fault, but it didn’t stop the guilt from choking him up and making the tears burn on his cheek. He couldn’t bear to lose someone else to Brother, not after Akane, he couldn’t take it. Hadn’t he suffered enough, throwing away his childhood to protect his sister and try to save her life? Hadn’t he suffered enough when he failed that? He couldn’t let Brother take his friend as well.

He pressed his palms to his eyes, trying to force back the tears. He couldn’t imagine what had been going through Leone’s head. Was Brother threatening him, was that why he hadn’t come to Junpei and Aoi? Perhaps he’d been threatening their lives, and Leone wanted to protect them. But then, wouldn't he have gotten angry?

Aoi picked up the phone with trembling fingers and called Junpei. He picked up before the first ring even stopped. “Yea, you find anything?”

Aoi felt a touch guilty for getting his hopes up even a little, but he knew he was the same way whenever Junpei would call him. “No, I just… I had a thought. Why are we so sure that Leone left willingly?”

“Because there were no signs of struggle and the day was marked on the calendar? Aoi, what are you trying to say?”

“Junpei, what if it wasn’t? I mean, this  _ is _ Free the Soul they’re talking about. How hard would it be for them to make it not look bad? They could have easily drugged him and taken the stuff. His red jacket is obviously important if you watch him for more than a day. And the dress, well, they could have been spying on us the day he got it. I think we’re going about this the wrong way.” The words spilled from his lips before he could stop them.

Junpei was quiet, and Aoi eventually heard a heavy sigh through the speaker. “I know. I didn’t want to think about it, but… You’re right. Damnit, Aoi, how could I let this happen?!”

“It’s not your fault, Junpei,” Aoi quickly said, “this isn’t your fault at all. Especially if he really did go against his will, then it means that he didn’t just not come to us. And we’re still gonna do whatever we can to get him back.”

“I know, I know. Just… If it really was against his will, why the clover on the date?”

Aoi paused. “I don’t know. I mean, why tattoo Leone with clovers as a kid? Why has Brother done any of the crazy shit he’s done? Maybe it was to taunt us. Leone was trying to make it into his own thing after all, right?”

Junpei snorted derisively. “Showing that no matter what Leone does, he’s still Brother’s. Sick bastard. Doesn’t matter what he tries, he’s  _ ours _ , and I’ll tear through heaven and hell if it means getting him home safe.”

Aoi couldn’t help but laugh at the violent conviction of his words. “Well, hopefully the only thing we’ll have to tear through is Brother himself.”

* * *

 

“What are you going to do, Seven? Are you really not going to tell them?”

Seven groaned, slumping back on Lotus’s couch. “I want to. But dammit, that’d probably just fuck up whatever Leone’s planning and make them search for him even harder. Or end up with them heading headlong into one of Brother’s traps.”

Lotus gently rubbed his arm, frowning. “I’m worried about them… After what happened to June, this must be a living nightmare for them.”

Seven sighed, leaning his head against hers. “Yea. They’ve probably guessed it has to do with Free the Soul, that much is the obvious part. And Junpei said he and Aoi suspect Leone left willingly, meaning he was in so much trouble that he couldn’t even go to them.”

“Is he?” Lotus asked, worry tainting her voice. 

Seven couldn’t help but smile slightly at her tone. Even now she was a mother; those instincts extending to Junpei after the Nonary Game and Aoi when they’d all found the truth about what was really going on. Seven hadn’t told her the details about the Decision Experiment, only letting her know that Leone, too, had been severely affected by Brother and his twisted games.

“I don’t know for sure. Maybe he and Brother are playing chess with each other, figuratively speaking. Or maybe Leone thinks that’s what he’s doing, but in reality, he’s still Brother’s pawn. Either way, I wasn’t about to let him do this on his own, and he couldn’t get Junpei or Aoi’s help.” 

“And just what did you help with?”

Seven pursed his lips. This was his least favorite part. “Disappearing. I helped him figure out how to disappear almost completely. He didn’t keep any pictures, we cleared out what little social media he had. Minor shit, really, though I tried to get him to do more. I also have to pass along information at the beginning of December. I’ll tell them that Leone is part of this… this Mars experiment or whatever, it’s taking place at a certain site. When they hear that, they’ll be sure to get into it any way they can, and Leone said he doesn’t know for sure what will happen inside, but I need to be there for whoever comes out. If anyone comes out.” Seven shook his head slowly. “And apparently, there’s no guarantee Aoi and Junpei will come out alive.”

“What?!” Lotus leaped to her feet, turning him. “We have to stop this, then! Why would you go along with this if you knew that?!”

Seven let out a long-suffering sigh. He was glad he didn’t tell Lotus the other thing- There was one possible timeline where he might die as well, simply from being in the immediate area. Leone had told him about that first, when he went into what he knew about the timelines and Brother’s plan, wanting to make sure he would be willing after knowing that. He was, of course. But Lotus didn’t need to know. It would be better if she didn’t.

“Lotus,” he started carefully, “think about it. We both know that if Brother doesn’t want Junpei and Aoi in on whatever he’s planning, they won’t be able to get in. Leone seems to be under the impression that Brother wants them there, which means that  they’re meant to be pawns and Brother will probably feed them the info himself if they don’t appear to be on the trail. Even if we wanted to stop this, what would we say? I’m a P.I. known for doing rash shit and Leone’s just some random kid working at a bar. If we go and say to the authorities that this Mars Test is actually being done by some shady organization that, as far as they know, doesn’t actually exist, and also we can’t tell what’s actually going to be happening inside, we’ll be laughed off at best. We can’t stop this, but we can have at least some semblance of control over it. We have to beat Brother at his own game. And that means taking chances and making sacrifices.”

Lotus sighed and shifted into his lap, tucking herself against him. “I hope you realize this is insane. You don’t even know that Leone is actually in control of anything here. Why are you going along with this?”

Seven gently rubbed her back. “Because of Akane. Because of your girls, and Aoi, and Snake and Clover. Because of every kid that’s been affected by this bastard. I didn’t tell you about what was in the Decision Experiment file because you’ll sleep far better if you don’t know. But I know what that kid has done. And there’s probably more people out there, more experiments and games that we’ll never know about. I want to do whatever I can to stop him. Even if it means putting my own life on the line.” He wrapped his arms tightly around her. “Someday, this will be over. I promise. And until then, I’ll do everything I can.”

Lotus nodded, closing her eyes and leaned back, resting her head on his shoulder. “Just make sure you get him. I don’t care who does it or how or why, I just want him gone. He’s just one of those people who makes the world worse by simply existing.”

Seven snorted. “I couldn’t agree more.”

* * *

 

Junpei slumped onto the couch with a beer in hand, cracking it open with minimal struggles. Aoi looked to him from where he was curled up on the other side of the couch, pursing his lips. Junpei had steadily started drinking more since Leone had disappeared, practically reverting any progress he’d made recovering from his alcoholism. Aoi wanted to stop him, but he had no idea what to say, especially since he was steadily becoming a workaholic himself. Even now, he had his phone in hand, checking emails and messages and files.

Junpei looked back, and their eyes met, but neither could find the words. Junpei knew he was spiraling, but he couldn’t stop himself. Leone was gone and he had no idea why or how or what to do, and he was desperately searching for anything. It felt like he was tumbling out of the Nonary Game all over again, Akane disappeared and having no clue what was really going on by the end of it all other than Ace was the bad guy, and then Ace was dead.

The silence was cold and awkward and the empty space between the couch felt like a gaping wound where their friend had been torn out of their lives.

They continued to stare at each other before Aoi spoke, words tumbling from his lips. “I miss him,” he blurted out.

Junpei just nodded, taking a long drink of his beer. “I do too. He’s… I guess you really don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” Sure, it was cliche, but he felt like being a sap at the moment, sue him. It was better than being  _ completely  _ miserable.

Aoi found the words easier after that, more difficult to stop now that he’d started. “He just- We knew him, right? Sure, he had his secrets, but so do we, and it was just hard to talk about, but he’s… Do you really think he’s still under Brother’s thumb? Or maybe… Maybe Brother changed his mind.”

Junpei’s glare was on him in a second, making him wince with the sheer anger of it. “ _ No _ . Whatever this is, Leone is… He’s too strong, he’s too angry and passionate for that. There’s something else, there has to be. And even if he was, it’s… It can’t be his choice. He’ll come back. He has to.” The last sentence came out broken and miserable and he knocked back the beer again, swallowing back alcohol and tears alike. He had to keep it together, if not for himself then for Aoi.

Aoi paused, watching him, before placing his phone on the coffee table and crawling forward. He settled between Junpei’s legs, head on his chest. Junpei hesitated, unsure of what to do with the sudden weight on him, before putting the now-empty bottle down and wrapping his arms around Aoi in return.

“I just want this to be over,” Aoi whimpered out, squeezing harder. “I want Leone to come back and for us to be able to put all this stupid stuff with Brother and Free the Soul behind us.”

Junpei sighed, resting his cheek on his soft, white hair. “Me too. We’ll just have to keep going, though.”

Aoi nodded, closing his eyes. They could get through this. And then Leone would be home and everything would be alright. They just had to have faith.

The thought made him laugh suddenly, soft little sounds that bubbled in his chest like a fresh soda. Junpei looked down at him in confusion. “Hey, are you alright?”

Aoi carefully sat up, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Yea, I was just thinking… Thinking about how we just needed to have faith, and that reminded me of the video Akane left for me, in case something happened to her. She wanted me to believe in the leaf words again, for the four leaf clover: hope, faith, love, and luck. I always thought I’d hate those words, but I guess I believe in them more than I thought.”

Junpei smiled. “Not bad words to live by. And how much could you have hated them, if you loved your sister as much as you did?”

Aoi snorted, shaking his head. “I guess I only needed to remember three of the words, then.” Junpei looked startled at the statement, eyes wide. Aoi frowned. “Something wrong?”

“No, just… You said they were the words for the four leaf clover?”

Aoi frowned. “Yes… What are you thinking?”

Junpei’s face contorted into that strange expression he got when he was really thinking about something, brows furrowed and lips pursed, making his nose get all scrunched up. It was kind of cute, if Aoi thought about it, but he was a bit too busy wondering just what he was thinking about. “It’s probably nothing, but… Why would Leone draw a three-leaf clover on his calendar? Like, obviously it was to mark the date, but why that specifically?”

Aoi hummed softly. He couldn’t say he hadn’t thought about it before. “I always figured, if Brother didn’t do it himself, it just had to do with him, since he said Leone original tattoos Brother gave him were of three-leaf clovers, right?”

Junpei nodded. “Maybe, but I can’t help but feel like there’s more to it…”

“I guess we’ll just have to ask him when we see him again.”

* * *

 

Aoi sighed, hands in his pockets as he wandered through the mall. Sure, he agreed that he probably needed the time off, but Lotus didn’t have to be so pushy about it. She’d basically loomed over him until he’d agreed to take a day off, as if coming to visit her wasn’t enough of a break. He wasn’t entirely sure why he’d come to the mall of all places, it was kind of weird to be wandering about it alone, but he supposed he might as well look while he was there.

He paused as he passed by some small boutique, mostly selling accessories to teenage girls. What had caught his attention was a pair of earrings in one of the stands, little three-leaf clovers. Now that he thought about it, he never saw three-leaf clover accessories often. Usually they were four-leafed, since they were supposed to be the lucky ones, and three-leafed ones could be found just about anywhere. He supposed that was why they were on the sale rack, since no one wanted to buy a regular clover. 

He turned and headed into the store. Full grown man in his mid-20s entering a store for tween girls, now this felt familiar, although he doubted he’d be buying a dress here. He headed straight for the rack and picked up the earrings, looking them over. Upon closer inspection, they appeared to be three-leafed because of a manufacturing issue, which was probably why they were on sale, rather than lack of interest. Either way, he smiled. Three-leafed and broken? They were perfect. He’d thought about getting his ears pierced when he was younger, but he hadn’t had the money and when he later did, when they were older, he was too busy worrying about their Nonary Game to even think of it. Better late than never, he supposed.

The saleslady approached him, voice coated with the false sweetness she was required to have for her job. “Hello sir! Can I help you find anything? Looking for something special for a daughter or sister?”

Aoi turned to her, smiling. “Actually, I’d like to get these for myself. Do you guys pierce ears here?”

The young woman looked startled before smiling awkwardly. She probably thought he was some kind of weirdo now. “We sure do! Are those the earrings you wanted to get?”

Aoi nodded. “Yea, they’re perfect. Is that okay?”

“Well, we’ll have to use plain studs to pierce your ears, but you’ll be able to put those in right after if you’d like!” she chirped.

“Sounds perfect.”

Aoi was lead to the chair after paying for the earrings and piercing. He tried to relax as much as possible as they took the weird little piercing gun to his ears. It hurt more than he thought it would, but it was over pretty quickly, and he was able to put the earrings in just after like the woman said.

He thanked them and left, immediately pulling out his phone to take a look, using the camera as a mirror. Then he snapped a picture and sent it to Lotus, shooting her a quick message afterwards.  _ ‘Just had them done, what do you think?’ _

He only had to wait a few minutes for her response.  _ ‘wow it suits you! what brought this on?’ _

_ ‘Just saw them in the window of one of those places for tweens and thought they were perfect.’ _

_ ‘good to hear. you should show junpei, bet hell think theyre cute.’ _

Aoi blushed softly. He wasn’t going to dignify that with a response, knowing she was just trying to tease him. He had too much to worry about to even think about his potential feelings for Junpei.

He wondered if he might just tell Junpei anyways so maybe they could just hang out when his fingers hesitated over the contact above Lotus’s.

_ ‘Leone =*w*=’ _

Aoi felt the lump in his throat swell. He’d insisted on that dumb emote for his contact name, and Aoi never had the heart to change it. He pressed the contact and brought the phone to his ear, listening to it ring and ring before Leone’s voice poured through the speaker.

_ ‘Hello there, Leone speaking. You’ve missed me right now, but leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can! See you later!’ _

Aoi wiped the corner of his eye with the palm of his hand as the beep sounded for him to leave a message. “Leone… Just wanted to say hey. I-I got my ears pierced today. Wanted to for a while, just never did. Got these really neat earrings on sale, some three leaf clover ones. I’ll show you when I see you next, okay? I’ll… I’ll see you later.”

Aoi sniffed as he hung up, turning and quickly heading towards the door. If people weren’t looking before, they definitely were now, and he didn’t want to try to field any questions from well-meaning strangers. He just needed to get out of the crowd, to be alone and cry.

* * *

 

Junpei rested his chin in his hand, gazing at Aoi. “You know, you seem a lot different than when we first met. At the bar, I mean, not the game.”

Aoi looked up, a bit startled, then he smiled. “What, do the earrings change things that much?”

Junpei shook his head, leaning back on his couch. “No, it’s just a general thing. You seem more relaxed, more focused.”

Aoi nodded, placing the book down. Junpei glanced down at the cover. It seemed to be something about diseases, probably more research to try and figure out what Radical-6 was. Aoi brought his legs up to sit cross-legged in the chair. “Yea, well… I can’t stay broken forever. If you thought I was a mess when you found me, you should have seen me before.”

“Jeez, that bad, huh? Though I guess I can’t blame you, after everything that happened. Just how bad was it?” Junpei was mostly curious just how much he’d gotten through on his own, how strong he’d been.

Aoi nibbled on his bottom lip, a habit when he was tentative about something. It was cute, in a way, at least to Junpei it was. “Promise not to freak out? Because this will probably sound pretty bad.”

Junpei frowned. “I only promise to try,” he stated.

Aoi looked faintly amused for a moment, before his expression turned solemn once more. “You remember how I knocked you out, right? After saying I was the one that lost? Well after that, it’s kind of a massive blank.”

“You mean you don’t remember anything?”

“Yea. Guess I was dissociating pretty fucking hard. I remember knocking you out, and next thing I know, I’m waking up in the hospital. Apparently… Apparently I attempted suicide. Overdosed on pain medication.”

Junpei’s eyes widened and his face went pale. “You… Fuck, Aoi, that’s bad.”

“Yea. Thanks for not completely freaking out, at least.” Aoi couldn’t blame Junpei for reacting as he did. “I don’t know why I did it. Like I said, the month between knocking you out and waking up, I don’t remember a damn thing. Might be for the best. Makes me wonder about a few things, though…”

Junpei scooted closer to him, letting their legs brush together. “Yea? Like what?”

Aoi looked down at his lap, fussing with the edge of his jeans. “What I did with Clover’s body, and about Snake and Ace. I’m afraid to go see their parents, to see if I told them anything.”

Aoi jumped a bit as he felt a warm hand on his back, and he turned to see Junpei looking concerned. “I can go try talking to them, if you want. After all, I was a participant of the game, not the mastermind. I can tell them the truth. I’ll tell them the truth, that they died, that Clover was killed by the culprit and Snake died avenging her.”

Aoi shifted, pressing against Junpei. “Thanks. It’s probably more believable coming from you anyways.”

Junpei smiled softly, arm slipping around Aoi’s waist. “You’ll be alright. We’ll work through this together, you know?”

Aoi turned to him. “Yea. Glad I’ve got you here, not sure where I’d be without you.”

Junpei swallowed, heart hammering in his chest. Aoi was very close, and he still smelled like vanilla, sweet and tempting.

When Junpei leaned forward, he wasn’t thinking. All he knew was one moment, he was looking into Aoi’s eyes, and the next, his lips were pressed against Aoi’s. He jerked away when he realized what he was doing.

There was a strange, awkward silence they stared at each other. Aoi’s eyes were wide, and Junpei felt like his ears were about to burn off. Finally, Aoi was the one to break the silence, jerking away from Junpei and standing sharply.

“I-I should- I’ll see you later, Junpei.”

The door slammed before Junpei could respond. Junpei simply groaned and rested his head in his hands. He just fucked up big time.

* * *

 

You know, it was kind of amazing, how clearly he could hear Leone’s voice in his own mind.

_ “Yea, I get it, nice job dumbass. You fucked up. But what are you going to do about it? Sit here and drink all day? Feel sorry for yourself? You gotta do something, dude, or it’s not gonna get fixed.” _

Junpei felt like shit, though. He just sat on his couch and downed another beer. He’d kissed Aoi like a complete idiot and of course Aoi had run. Now he wouldn’t even answer Junpei’s texts.

Part of him wanted to laugh. Normally, on Halloween, he and Leone would be out at a bar or party in dumb costumes, drinking and having a blast. This year, though, Junpei was sitting alone on his couch, drinking himself into a stupor because one of his friends was missing, presumably in Brother’s hands, and he’d stupidly kissed his other friend. He supposed he could try calling Seven or Lotus, but he was already half-smashed and they’d likely be spending time with each other.

So yea, Junpei was sitting on his couch, dressed as a really shitty zombie, and drinking himself into a stupor. What an image of mental stability. He supposed the worst part was that he knew very well how bad it was, he knew what the people who cared about him would say about his drinking, and he knew he should stop, but it felt better than just trying to watch a movie or something all alone, and going out to a bar or other public place would probably end up with people trying to socialize or flirt with him.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as his phone rang, and he scrambled to pick it up. “What? Something going on?”

Seven’s voice rang through the speaker, concern already tainting his voice. “Junpei, are you drunk?”

“Not yet,” he lied, “Buzzed, though. What’s up?”

“Maybe we should wait until morning…”

“Is it important?”

“Probably.”

“Tell me.”

Seven sighed. “I’ve got some word on Leone.”

If anything was capable of snapping him to sobriety, that was it. Sure, he wasn’t legitimately sober, but his mind had honed in on that fact. “What, what is it?”

“Wait, we should get Aoi here too. Can you drive?”

Junpei winced. “He still hasn’t been answering me. Guess he’s still mad about… y’know.” He’d told Seven what happened shortly afterwards, so he knew all about Junpei’s fuck up in kissing Aoi, even if Seven tried to insist it wasn’t that bad.

“I’ll come pick you up and call him. We’ll sort this out together.” Seven’s voice was steady, and it helped calm Junpei from dwelling on his mistake too much. “Don’t worry about it too much.”

“Too late. See you in ten?”

Seven sighed. “Figures. Give me a little more, I’d rather not be talking and driving, especially with so many kids and teens out.”

“Fair. See you soon, then.”

“See you soon.”

As soon as Seven hung up, Junpei bolted up from the couch and stumbled into the kitchen, downing a glass of water and splashing some on his face. It didn’t matter what happened, they needed to take down Brother and get Leone back.

* * *

 

Aoi’s hands shook as he put down the phone. Seven wanted him to come over. He’d gotten word on Leone, and Aoi felt like he was going to throw up. 

He still didn’t know how to handle the fact that Junpei had kissed him. He’d turned it over in his mind a thousand times, but he couldn’t get past the overwhelming guilt and the feeling that Junpei might have done it because he was lonely. Akane had loved Junpei, and Junpei had at least cared for her a good bit. He shouldn’t be feeling these things, he wished he wasn’t. Part of him wished he’d never let Junpei find him. Then he wouldn’t have to feel like this.

It wasn’t often that he thought back on the time after Nonary Game, before Junpei found him. Then again, there weren’t many memories to think on. He remembered knocking Junpei out, then had a glimpse of the desert, then he was waking up in a hospital bed. He tried not to think about it too much, because it just made him think about how disappointed Akane would have been.

Now, part of him wishes he would have succeeded. He could have been with his sister again, and he wouldn’t have to think about Akane’s feelings for Junpei, or his own feelings for Junpei, or his panic over Leone, or how much he hated all of this, or a complete amalgamation of other issues.

Aoi took a deep breath and stood, making his way to the door. He could do this, he just needed to keep a level head. Maybe they could just pretend it never happened. That might work.

Or maybe it would screw everything between Junpei and Aoi more. Aoi sighed, a growing sense of dread settling in his stomach.

* * *

 

Seven sighed and slumped back in his seat. It seemed like things had just gone from bad to worse.

_ “Seven, you can’t let them come here, this is- it’s so much worse than I thought. He won’t just potentially kill them. He… Please, please, please just stop them. I can’t get out now. He’s holding mine hostage and unless I go along with his plan, he’ll kill them all. I-I fucked up, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, just please, you have to try to stop Junpei and Aoi from coming. Say whatever you need to say, tell them I’m already dead, I don’t care what you have to do, just don’t let them come to the Mars Test Site. Please…” _

All Leone had left Seven was that one, panic-filled message. And what the hell was Seven even supposed to do about that? Did Leone honestly think that he would be capable of stopping them, especially after something like that?

In the end, he wasn’t sure what was worse; the fact that he wouldn’t be able to stop them, or the fact that something had freaked Leone out enough to send that message, and he had no idea what that was. He felt so helpless, it was completely frustrating, to know Leone was trapped in some situation that he couldn’t get out of, to know that Junpei would rush headlong into it even knowing the potential deadliness of it. Seven wasn’t quite sure how Aoi would react, but it was likely he’d follow Junpei, and it all culminated in Seven feeling like shit.

Ultimately, Seven figured he’d just do what he could. He would try to stop them from going, and if he couldn’t do that, he’d do everything he could to help them. What happened next was out of his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, Part 1 of the Safe End Project draws to a close.  
> Thank you for sticking with me so far, and as always, special thanks to NorthernFlicker, without whom this series wouldn't be as good as it is, and likely, this part wouldn't have even been finished. It's been crazy, but it's not over yet.   
> For more information, please head over to SimonSaysAStory on Tumblr, where I'll be making a post about the future and progress of this project, and will keep you updated on when Part 2 will begin.  
> Thanks again for reading, and please, leave a comment, they mean a lot to me and feedback is always helpful.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, and please leave a comment, they make my day and really help me have more motivation to write. God knows I'm going to need this with this massive, massive project.


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